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This Article Is a Joke!
August 26, 2000
Just in case you had any doubts, we thought we'd put them to rest by stating here--emphatically, clearly, and without any ambiguity whatsoever--that this article is intended solely for humorous effect. It is a joke, a jest, a jape, a jibe. It is not a real article, nor is it a hoax intended to fool you into believing it is a real article. We put plenty of clues in there to alert you to this fact (including bogus titles and erroneous 'facts'), but just in case you mistook those for mistakes on our part, we're adding this note.
Once again, just so there is no mistake: this article is a joke.