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The Ties That Bind

If toys were meant to be played with, why can't we get them out of their friggin' boxes?

By ANDREW KARDON     August 08, 2002

I've got a complaint. So what else is new, right? But first things first: if you don't open your toys up and just keep them in their packaging, stop reading right now. This doesn't concern you. Save your energy and scroll down to the read the latest news. No, really, go on. I won't be offended.

Okay, now that the real toy fans are with me (Just kidding. Like I didn't think you non-openers would sneak a peek...), I want to talk about packaging. Specifically those god awful twisty ties that every action figure nowadays seems to be soldered into their blister card with. I understand the need for quality control and keeping pieces from falling apart in shipping... but things have gotten way out of hand.

Not to pick on Playmates, but it once took me roughly 15 minutesno joketo get a certain RADIOACTIVE MAN and FALLOUT BOY out of their box. And yes I was using scissors and actually do have fine motor skills.

I remember being a kid and having my mom buy me the latest STAR WARS or G.I. JOE figure and I was in agony just waiting those 3 minutes to get to the car so I could rip that sucker open and start playing with him. So how the heck is a kid supposed to sit there patiently waiting for their toy, while mom and dad pop it out of the package with a crowbar and a sledgehammer?

I just don't get it. With all of today's advances, can't somebody please come up with a good easy solution to packaging action figures so we can rip 'em open and get at 'em quickly? Nothing fancy. Nothing gimmicky. Just something that works.

With so many toy companies putting out classic toys from the '80s, it'd sure be nice to get some classic packaging from that era too.


TOY TIDBITS


DC Direct

BIRDS OF PREY or a guy's ultimate date?

is going collector crazy with a whole bunch of new action figures next year. A new line of SUPER-FRIENDS figures will feature two-packs of classic cartoony figures like SUPERMAN and LEX LUTHOR and WONDER WOMAN and CHEETAH. There's also another Silver Age deluxe set planned with the JOKER and BATGIRL, as well as a cool three-figure BIRDS OF PREY set including HUNTRESS, ORACLE and BLACK CANARY.

Recently unveiled at the San Diego Comic-Con convention in...well, San Diego of course, Toy Biz's MARVEL LEGENDS line continues! The third wave, due out next year, will feature THOR, MAGNETO, GHOST RIDER (Danny Ketch version) and some Canucklehead named WOLVERINE.

First Disney

Only on the Super-Friends could LEX LUTHOR get away with that outfit.

gave us a great toy movie in TOY STORY, now they're giving us a great toy store! In conjunction with Hasbro, Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando has opened the doors of ONCE UPON A TOY to its visitors. The store offers five uniquely themed rooms covering familiar characters from Hasbro and Disney. Of special note to toy fans is a line of STAR TOURS action figures based on the STAR WARS-inspired attraction.

Hungry for some sushi? Well, you can try a Japanese restaurant in your area, or just swing by Subway! No, the sandwich-filled restaurant isn't changing its menuthe company's just offering SAMURAI JACK toys in its Kids Pack meals. Starting August 19, you'll be able to snag figures of your favorite character from the popular Cartoon Network series including: JACK BOXER, AKU BOXER, AKU POPPER, JACK MINION BUSTER and JET JACK.


ON THE SHELVES


[IMG4R] Hide the wimmens and break out the ale. The Vikings are here! Yep, McFarlane Toys' DARK AGES SPAWN: THE VIKING AGE are popping up on toy shelves everywhere. This 22nd wave of figures in the Spawn toy line includes: SPAWN THE BLOODAXE, VALKERIE, BERSERKER THE TROLL, BLUETOOTH, DARK RAIDER and SKULLSPLITTER.

Go Figure is our weekly Toys and Action Figure column.

Questions? Comments? Let us know what you think at feedback@cinescape.com.

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