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Today’s Nerf Warrior

Arming yourself in the Modern Era

By Robert T. Trate     December 02, 2011


Today’s Nerf Warrior needs goggles, no kidding.
© NERF/Robert Trate

 

Last Christmas, I walked into my grandmother’s living room and was immediately hit dead in the face with something. My cousin, who was the culprit, then ducked behind the couch laughing. I looked down to see a small foam dart with a suction cup on the end. I then heard a strange noise and immediately ducked into the kitchen. Another dart, this time the size of a football, came flying to where I was standing. My cousin emerged, laughing, with an enormous colorful rifle (bottom left). He reached behind his back and handed me a yellow pistol (bottom right). I took it and we spent the rest of the day shooting Nerf guns at one another.
 

Awesome NERF Toys in the Toy Market

 
After Christmas I went to Toys R Us and sought out these awesome toy guns. It was an eye-opening experience. The variety was astounding, the prices were manageable, and the accessories blew me away. Nerf, in my day, was a foam football that you took to the beach or the pool. Nerf was nothing like this. I then picked up my own Nerf N-Strike Maverick pistol (above right). This would do it for now. If anything, it would keep the cat off the kitchen table. As I was about to leave the toy aisle, I saw something else I never had has a kid, Nerf Swords.
 

Awesome NERF Toys in the Toy Market

 
In my day, swords were often either made of wood or props from Halloween costumes. To have a backyard duel usually meant someone was going to get hurt. We equipped ourselves with heavy work gloves and the occasional football helmet. Never did we envision those foam footballs would be the key to a fun, safer backyard battle. Well, or so I thought.
 
Now, it says on the Nerf Swords (or better known as the N-Force line) “Do not poke or jab at people or animals”. This might be fine for the children groups and safety boards, but for this adult it is for whacking whoever is willing to pick up another sword and go toe to toe. Yet there isn’t just a single sword you have to choose from. There is a variety to pick from. The Nerf Duel Swords are swift and fun. The Nerf Broad Sword makes you feel like a Viking or a Knight. What was a huge disappoint, however, was the Nerf Warlock Axe (above center). Against the Nerf Broad Sword the Warlock Axe, it was like swinging a pancake on a stick. Though incredibly cool and intimidating, it did nothing against the swords. What was truly for pummeling your opponents is the Battlemaster Mace (below). Dear god, is that a weapon; Nerf or otherwise.
 

Awesome NERF Toys in the Toy Market

 
As with anything, after a while you start to mix it up. Nerf Swords met up with Nerf Guns in the backyard battles and living room shootouts. I never went so far to include the Nerf Stonewall Shield and Dagger nor the Nerf Klaw. The Stonewall is way too small to make a difference. I was shocked that Nerf hasn’t gone so far as to make armor or bigger shields. Their gun line includes vests, ammo boxes, and even goggles (aka Nerf Dart Tag Vision Gear Eyewear). It is always a good idea to protect your eyes while playing a game that shoots projectiles, but do I really need goggles (below right) for a Nerf toy? I discovered the answer was yes.
 

Awesome NERF Toys in the Toy Market

 
As Mania’s Toy Maniac, I have been to the Nerf Toy Fair booth in New York City. I stopped in, tried the shooting range, and talked about how I loved their sword/ axe line. The good people at Nerf, as a thank you, sent me their new Nerf Voretx Praxis gun (below). Thinking nothing of it and it being just another Nerf gun (like my beloved and trusty N-Strike Maverick pistol) I assembled it and surprised the girlfriend with a Nerf sneak attack. She was not happy.
 

Awesome NERF Toys in the Toy Market

 
The Nerf Vortex Praxis gun does NOT shoot rubber foam darts with suction cups. In fact it is a circular foam disc that cuts through the air at a lightening speed. After getting a full lecture from the girlfriend that she, too, needs the new gun I started to try it out on things, unlike her, that could not get hurt. These discs are awesome, powerful, and the reason why you really need Nerf Dart Tag Vision Gear Eyewear. To pit the old gun (that shoots the rubber darts) against the new one (rubber foam discs) is like bringing a knife to a gunfight.
 
As a fully indoctrinated Nerf Warrior, I love this new Vortex Praxis gun. However as an “adult” who buys Nerf toys I recommend it for the college aged kids. The little tikes and younger kids should stick with the N-Strike line. I know that all toys have an age limit on them but after facing the wrath of an angry combatant who’s gun was clearly out classed by the Vortex line, the two guns are not on the same level. Thank you, Nerf. You just made the whole backyard battlefield a fun and exhilarating place again.
 
Robert is currently building Optimus Prime out of KRE-O bricks as he is watching the White Chapel (review coming soon) TV series from the BBC. With that going he is still writing two other weekly columns for Mania the DVD Shopping Bag and the Geek Life. Follow Robert on Twitter for his for Geek ramblings, Cosplay photos and film criticisms.

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

Showing items 1 - 10 of 12
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redvector 12/2/2011 11:57:13 AM

If you do an internet search on modifying nerf guns the range of mods being done to these things are amazing. Some websites will give you step-by-step instuctions from everything from painting to increasing the range and power of nerf guns.

muddseye 12/2/2011 12:37:47 PM

So nerf has no gotten into the feild of LARP weapons :)

trazalca 12/2/2011 1:02:46 PM

I've had my eye on two models for a couple of years now, but I'm torn which to get: the Longstrike or the Longshot? Both tempt me every time I go to Target's toy aisle. (sigh)

Wyldstaar 12/2/2011 3:43:43 PM

Trazalca, I don't know about the Longstrike, but the Longshot is a mess.  It's got so many special features that it causes the whole thing to be unreliable.  The Longstrike looks as though it's a simpler design, but considering the review above, you might want to give one of the new Vortex guns a serious look.  The Nitron is particularly awesome looking.

Tashiro 12/2/2011 4:22:26 PM

 My roomies and I have had the melee weapons for a while, though the local store doesn't sell the hatchet.  Sadness.  However, the axes, swords, shield, and mace are all part of our arsenal of destruction for spring and summer.  I wonder what the range is on that Praxis... I love having really, really good range.

jsmulligan 12/2/2011 8:50:59 PM

That n-strike gun is a popular one to repaint for steampunk stuff.  In fact, I was in a play which did a steampunk theme and that was what we were armed with for props.  Of course, the first thing they tell you to do is sand off the label that says, "Do not modify in any way."  lol

karas1 12/3/2011 6:10:57 AM

Years ago I went garage saling in this neighborhood where the entire community was participating.  Seventy five percent of the garages were open containing tables filled with tchotchkeys and junk.  Every garage had at least one nerf bow and quiver of arrows hung on the wall.  I grew curious and one father informed me that the bows and arrows had been the hot toy the previous summer and every kid in the development had gotten one.  I guess they were still in use because they were NOT for sale.

I've seen foam pirate cutlasses in toy stores.  I don't know if they were nerf or a knock off brand but they looked cool.

6dra6on6 12/3/2011 7:53:28 AM

Where was all this when I was a kid??? A kid in the seventies, that is... :(

My son was heavily into the NERF rifles when he was younger. We used to paint them all flat black which really made them look cool. Then, as he got older, he got into airsoft.

Kaziklu 12/3/2011 10:48:03 AM

What no Oozinator 2? 

I got jipped as a kid. We made swords out of Sticks, logs and lumber, and sprained, broke and other wised assulted each others joints and bones. Kids today and going to grow up fat but with full mental ability... we might get screen plays and tv series again.

Wyldstaar 12/3/2011 3:14:36 PM

We used broomsticks as lightsabres.  It tended to result in lots of cuts and bruises, but nothing too serious.  The Nerf weapons might not cut you, but they are more than capable of leaving a big bruise.  They're certainly less likely to cause a concussion than being whacked upside the head with a broomstick, though.

I don't think they make the bow & arrow anymore, Karas.  I haven't seen them in a while.  I haven't seen the Nerf rocket launcher depicted above in a while, either.

I bought the Stonewall Shield for my youngest nephew, so that he'd be better able to defend himself against his older brother.  It's pretty worthless.  All it has to secure it to one's arm is a single cloth ring in the center of the shield's back, instead of a strap on one side and a handle on the other, like anyone with half an ounce of sense would design. 

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