A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS
© 2000 Paramount Home Video

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Too much monkey business

Greetings Cinescapers! Last week I asked if TARZAN the television show should be saved and let me tell you the response was overwhelming. Why in the first two days alone I had received more e-mails regarding this matter then for any other TV Wasteland inquiry. I was simply amazed at how many readers came to the call for this show. Amazed, that is, till I realized that most of these pro-TARZAN e-mails were not from readers of TV Wasteland, but from fans who had gotten my e-mail off of various save TARZAN websites.

A few genuine readers of TV Wasteland did respond, but the general attitude was a little less then positive. Many wished the show cancelled outright, while one reader, Rick, asked if I could "provide a link where we could plead with the WB not only to keep TARZAN on hiatus but also, in the name of mercy, destroy the masters of all 8 episodes?" So in all fairness to Rick and the other non-TARZAN fans, if you have such a link, could you please e-mail it to me at TVWasteland@cinescape.com? I will post it next week.

Next week I will give you the results of the TARZAN poll, counting all the votes regardless of readership, and I'll tell you again that TARZAN is getting tremendous support. Many viewers flat out declare the show one of the best things to hit television, while others went a little overboard and stated that the show has improved their love life and cured them of male pattern baldness. One other thing, some of those lending support apparently thought I was a program planner and pleaded with me to not take the show off the air. While I am delusional, I do not wield such power ... yet.

Anyway, if you wish to check out the save TARZAN campaign here are the links:

After all that TARZAN talk I need a stiff drink. Before I imbibe I've compiled a list of some shows I may be watching this week. Of special note is A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS showing this Tuesday. I know we've all seen it a billion times, but hey when that loser Charlie Brown has his crippled Christmas tree purchase vindicated by that ultimate altruist Linus, why I can't help but thinking, "Yeah, like that would ever happen."

Bah Humbug.

THE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS (8 pm, Nik) Timmy wishes sleep was unnecessary. Neurotics everywhere fail to notice the difference. (Repeat)

DR. SEUSS' HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS (8 pm, TOON)

The original Grinch

© 2001 Warner Home Video

EVERWOOD (9 pm, WB) Andy's choice of babysitter for Delia results in unexpected confrontations. (Repeat)

CSI: MIAMI (10 pm, CBS) It's the old diplomatic immunity gives a killer impunity routine. (Repeat)

A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS/CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS TALES (8 pm, ABC) The quintessential Charlie Brown special backed with a more recent addition. You know where I'll be come 8 pm. (That's right, at a bar getting stewed.)

THE LADY EVE (8 pm, TCM) Barbara Stanwyck and Henry Fonda team up in one of Preston Sturges best comedies. Film students and/or your grandparents might appreciate this one.

24 (9 pm, FOX) 6 pm 7 pm. Kim discovers her father's addiction, wonders if this means she should scrape the D.A.R.E. sticker off the back of his truck.

SOUTH PARK (9:30 pm, Comedy) When Mecha Streisand is on the loose it's up Leonard Maltin and Robert Smith to save the world. (Repeat)

ENTERPRISE (8 pm, UPN) When waves of anomalies hurt the Enterprise, Captain Archer says "Say, you know this reminds me of my favorite Pixies song, 'Wave of Mutilation'." He then proceeds to sing the slower, PUMP UP THE VOLUME soundtrack, version. (Repeat)

SMALLVILLE (8 pm, WB)

Watch Rowdy Roddy Piper chew bubble gum and kick ass in THEY LIVE.

© Image Entertainment

JAKE 2.0 (9 pm, UPN) When Jake goes undercover he says "Say, you know this reminds me of my favorite Rolling Stones song, 'Undercover of the Night'." He then attempts to sing the song, but gets both the words and the melody wrong. (Repeat)

ANGEL (9 pm, WB) The gang have to represent an evil client. Bummer. (Repeat)

CHARADE (8 pm, WE) A taunt thriller directed by Stanley Donen, features Audrey Hepburn as a woman stalked by criminals. Cary Grant may, or may not, be along to help.

RUDOLPH AND FROSTY'S CHRISTMAS IN JULY (8 pm, FAM) Funny the family channel would want to show this one in December, but what the hey. Santa saves Frosty and Rudolph from an evil wizard, just like in the Bible.

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (9 pm, CBS) Mummified corpses start popping up everywhere, meanwhile a boy shoots himself in the foot, calls his girlfriend by her best friends name. (Repeat)

WITHOUT A TRACE (10 pm, CBS) A young woman disappears during a dinner party. The hosts wonder if it's because they're "too dull." (Repeat)

TREMORS: THE SERIES (8 pm, SCI-FI) Graboids

The classic WIZARD OF OZ

© 1939 MGM

REBA (8 pm, WB) Reba and Krya have words. (Repeat)

STARGATE SG-1 (9 pm, SCI-FI) This episode promises to be the best repeat ever, watch it to see why. (repeat)

THEY LIVE (10:25 pm, AMC) Special sunglasses enable pro wrestlers to see aliens.

AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS (8 pm, TCM) The film that made Cantinflas fans out of us all.

SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWN (8 pm, FAM) Fred Astaire narrates and appears in stop motion form in this amusing tale of Santa Claus' origins.

IT'S A VERY MERRY MUPPET CHRISTMAS MOVIE (9 pm, NBC) Brilliant scheduling. This is showing at 9pm when its primary audience will have been put to bed. Title should be changed to IT'S A VERY UNWATCHED MUPPET CHRISTMAS MOVIE.

A VERY BRADY CHRISTMAS (7 pm, UPN) The Bradys refuse to die; here they are reunited again in this 1988 made for TV movie. BTW is UPN so hard up they need to run this?

THE WIZARD OF OZ (7 pm, WB)

Tom Welling as Clark Kent from the third season of SMALLVILLE.

© The WB Television Network

THE SIMPSONS (8 pm, Fox) Homer takes over for Krusty while the latter celebrates his bar mitzvah.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION (9 pm, NBC) Mildly amusing installment of the Griswold saga has somehow become a perennial favorite.

Adios amigos. Till next time I'll be in the pub or in the ditch depending on the time of day.

If you want to let me know of a drink I should try, drop me a line at Tvwasteland@Cinescape.com. (Please, no household poisons.)