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Toy Maniac: The Hunger Games of Toys
Who will survive
By Robert T. Trate
March 16, 2012
With The Hunger Games arriving I thought it would be fun to bring you the Toy Maniac’s Hunger Games of Toys. As I struggled to come up with 12 separate toy lines to represent the 12 separate Districts in Suzanne Collins’ novel, I found another dilemma. How do I decide who represents each District? Sure, if I was picking the best of each toy line I would have Megatron and Optimus Prime represent The Transformers. I would have Darth Maul and Boba Fett for Star Wars and so on. Instead I let Google decide who would represent each district in the Toy Maniac’s first ever Hunger Games. Whichever two figures came up first in a search of the title and the word “figure” next to it would be chosen. Where would they do battle? The decision was easy, Eternia. Who would win? That, my fellow Maniacs, is for you to decide. Bare in mind they will not have their usual assortment of weapons. They will only have what the arena and their wits can provide. Let the first ever Hunger Games of Toys begin!
District 1: Star Wars
For District 1, we have two career champions in both Obi-Wan Kenobi and Boba Fett.
District 2: Mario Brothers
To represent District 2 is Koopa Troopa and Lakitu (holds hand over microphone, “who?”).
District 3: Star Trek
District 3 might have been better suited with the likes of Kirk and Khan but they will have to make do with Scotty and Old Spock.
District 4: DC Universe
For District 4, a strong duo in Batman and Wonder Woman.
District 5: Masters of the Universe
For District 5, a surprising turn of events as Evil Lyn and Trap Jaw will be their tributes.
District 6: Transformers
Already at an advantage with their incredible sizes are Bumblebee and Ratchet for District 6.
District 7: Mezco Toyz
District 7 provides both insanity and pure brute strength in Michael Myers and Leather Face.
District 8: Marvel Universe
District 8 provides a power house duo in Magneto and the Silver Surfer.
District 9: Lord of the Rings
For District 9, it really is a no brainer as we have Aragorn and Legolas.
District 10: G.I. Joe
For District 10, we have Firefly and General Hawk.
District 11: NECA Collectibles
In an astounding surprise, Big and Little Sister (from BioShock) have been chosen to represent the 11th District.
District 12: McFarlane Toys
In what might be the biggest surprise,Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora represent District 12.
The winner is up to you to decide, Maniacs. Who will survive the Hunger Games of Toys?
Robert Trate writes three weekly columns for Mania: the DVD Shopping Bag, the Toy Maniac, and The Geek Life. Follow Robert on Twitter for his for Geek ramblings, Cosplay photos and film criticisms.