Toy Maniac: The Hunger Games of Toys -

Toy Maniac: The Hunger Games of Toys

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Toy Maniac: The Hunger Games of Toys

Who will survive

By Robert T. Trate     March 16, 2012


With The Hunger Games arriving I thought it would be fun to bring you the Toy Maniac’s Hunger Games of Toys. As I struggled to come up with 12 separate toy lines to represent the 12 separate Districts in Suzanne Collins’ novel, I found another dilemma. How do I decide who represents each District? Sure, if I was picking the best of each toy line I would have Megatron and Optimus Prime represent The Transformers. I would have Darth Maul and Boba Fett for Star Wars and so on. Instead I let Google decide who would represent each district in the Toy Maniac’s first ever Hunger Games. Whichever two figures came up first in a search of the title and the word “figure” next to it would be chosen. Where would they do battle? The decision was easy, Eternia. Who would win? That, my fellow Maniacs, is for you to decide. Bare in mind they will not have their usual assortment of weapons. They will only have what the arena and their wits can provide. Let the first ever Hunger Games of Toys begin!
District 1: Star Wars

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

For District 1, we have two career champions in both Obi-Wan Kenobi and Boba Fett.
District 2: Mario Brothers

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

To represent District 2 is Koopa Troopa and Lakitu (holds hand over microphone, “who?”).
District 3: Star Trek

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

District 3 might have been better suited with the likes of Kirk and Khan but they will have to make do with Scotty and Old Spock.
District 4: DC Universe

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

For District 4, a strong duo in Batman and Wonder Woman.
District 5: Masters of the Universe

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

For District 5, a surprising turn of events as Evil Lyn and Trap Jaw will be their tributes.
District 6: Transformers

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

Already at an advantage with their incredible sizes are Bumblebee and Ratchet for District 6.
District 7: Mezco Toyz

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

District 7 provides both insanity and pure brute strength in Michael Myers and Leather Face.
District 8: Marvel Universe

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

District 8 provides a power house duo in Magneto and the Silver Surfer.
District 9: Lord of the Rings

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

For District 9, it really is a no brainer as we have Aragorn and Legolas.
District 10: G.I. Joe

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

For District 10, we have Firefly and General Hawk.
District 11: NECA Collectibles

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

In an astounding surprise, Big and Little Sister (from BioShock) have been chosen to represent the 11th District.
District 12: McFarlane Toys

Best Action Figures from each Toyline

In what might be the biggest surprise,Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora represent District 12.
The winner is up to you to decide, Maniacs. Who will survive the Hunger Games of Toys?
Robert Trate writes three weekly columns for Mania: the DVD Shopping Bag, the Toy Maniac, and The Geek Life. Follow Robert on Twitter for his for Geek ramblings, Cosplay photos and film criticisms.


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jedibanner 3/16/2012 7:49:52 AM

Magneto is just there for show, Silver Surfer on hiw own could take care of the entire list of people within a day. The aspect that the SS is a weapon on his own, with all his powers an arch or a sword will be more combersome then anything else.

No contest, marvel's district 8 hands down.

DC second

Transformers 3rd.

goldeneyez 3/16/2012 8:26:24 AM

 Is this contest based on the characters or the toys.  If it's the characters, then yeah jedibanner might be right the SS would probably mop the floor with everyone.  I think Batman and Wonder Woman might be able to beat him though.  Batman is prepared for anything, and Wonder Woman can go toe to toe with Superman so there is that.  Also given Robert's constraints that the games take place on Eternia, it would seem that a soceress from Eternia, Evil Lyn, would have quite an advantage.

If the contest is based on just the toys themselves, that's probably altogether a different matter.

jedibanner 3/16/2012 9:19:53 AM

I always remember the magasine Wizard when they had done their ''top 10 strongest superhero battle to the death'' and Silver Surfer was # 1, # 2 was Thor, then Superman #3 and Wonder-Woman # 4.

Surfer is faster then the flash, stronger then Superman and as strong as the Hulk, has battle experiences that matches Thor and Wonder Woman...Batman wouldn't know what to think or do with the SS.

Transformers? SS would just melt them in 1 minutes, that's without Magneto's help but if Magneto's involved then, transformers and anyone else's weapon would just be folded in small pieces or joint in a big pile of junk for Magneto's entertainment.

The Jedi powers of Obi-Wan might pose a chalange to SS or magneto but not for too long since SS is faster then anyone else so, while OOK would try to use mindtrick on them, they would just kill him in a few seconds.

Everyone else....I mean Bon Jovi? Other then signing for everyone, what else could they do? sandwitches?

Shnozalpot 3/16/2012 9:34:50 AM

 Show some REAL G1 Transformers! NOT BAY-formers!

RobertTrate 3/16/2012 10:41:22 AM

 Shnozalpot, they were the first two to come up... seriously.

Wyldstaar 3/16/2012 11:06:01 AM

Random chance sure was kind to the Marvel District.  Some of these Districts are of course DOA.  Mario World never had a chance, and McFarland Toys got the short end of the random stick.  They all die in the first five minutes and are otherwise not worth mentioning.

District One's Obi-Wan and Boba Fett have little to help them out in Eternia.  Old Obi-Wan is going to have a hard time getting around.  Boba Fett won't fare well without weapons he's accustomed to, and that helmet seriously limits his field of vision.

District Three's Scotty and Spock will be lost in Eternia.  A world where magic and science collide isn't what either one of them are accustomed to.  The wild animals alone would likely do them in.

District Four's Batman & Wonder Woman are an interesting pair.  Batman is resourceful under any conditions, and Wonder Woman has loads of combat experience as well as strength.  They will both fare very well against most of the other combatants.

District Five gets to stay at home.  Evil-Lyn and Trap-Jaw have the home field advantage, but little else.  They've never been able to accomplish much of anything in the past, so I see no reason to expect them to do much better in this situation.  They'll be fine against most non-superpowered figures, but they don't stand a chance against any heavy hitters.  Lyn has magic, so she should do okay for a while.  Trap-Jaw is an idiot though, so I woudn't expect him to be able to handle any resourceful figure, much less a heavy hitter.

District Six is just a pair of Baybots.  Sure, they have lots of built-in firepower, and being big strong robots doesn't hurt either.  They won't know what to do in a world without massive plotholes.  They can't fight against The Force, magic, or superpowers.  And they're metal.  This might be a problem at some point.

District Seven- umm, okay.  Well, Michael Meyers comes back from the dead, but he doesn't do it until the next storyline comes along, so if he gets taken out by any character, he's done for the game.  Since all he has is above average strength and has no ingenuity, so he's not much threat to anyone who isn't a teenager looking to get laid.  Leatherface is crazy and is used to wielding a chainsaw.  Without one, he's just a crazy guy with a jacked up face.

District Eight, wow.  Lets just skip them for now and move on.

District Nine's Middle Earth characters are an interesting twist.  They are accustomed to a similar environment.  They can live off the land easily and are resourceful and formidable.  They also have lots of experience fighting foes far larger, stronger, and better armed than they are.  They would last for a while, as long as they don't run up against anyone too powerful too soon.

District Ten's Joe/Cobra combo isn't going to stand much of a chance.  Firefly without his flamethrower isn't much of a threat.  General Hawk is a leader of men, with no men to lead. 

District Eleven's Bioshock folks are unfamiliar to me.  Never played the game.

Now we're back to Eight.  Magneto and Silver Surfer.  In theory, if somebody manages to get the other players organized enough, they might be able to take down Magneto with a team effort.  Batman could coordinate such an attack.  In Theory.  The reality of the situation however is not likely to allow that to happen.  While Bats is trying to find people to join his team to fight the real threats, the others are all killing one another.  He could never actually build a force capable of doing the job.  In the end, it comes down to Magneto and Surfer, and Power Cosmic wins.  I'd expect Silver Surfer to just wait in the starting area for all the other to kill one another, until only Mags is left.

Icemizer 3/16/2012 11:43:16 AM

A wooden batarang strikes Magneto in the throat crushing his windpipe and killing him. WW snags SS with her lasso and using the power of truth gets him to admit he doesnt like to kill. While expressing his doubts in a moment of weakness WW snaps his neck. So much for the Cosmic duo, the rest will be easy.

TheMainMan 3/16/2012 6:06:31 PM

Mario World wins. The Koppa Troopa is his own weapon and even if you kill him he can come back as a skeleton and if you kill (in as much as you can kill a skeleton) it, it reassembles and comes back for more. As for Lakitu..Lakitu is the Media. He/she/it is the thing behind the camera..You cant defeat the media.

Mayhem101878 3/17/2012 5:52:53 AM

The one thing everyone seems to not know about is the tributes have mentors outside of the arena helping them to win. Therfore a mentor could eaily send leatherface a chainsaw. Another thing I thought of is the fact that the transformers (weather they are from the Micheal Bay films or not) would be nothing against Magneto he could just rip them apart in a matter of seconds and then use thier weapons. Batman could easily be sent a glass batarang for Magneeto, in fact he could be sent his whole utilty belt. I'm sure Evil Lyn could somehow use her magic to seperate Silver Surfer from his board after which he'd be screwed. In the end I'd say that Legolas would win it. He could easily pick off many of them with his arrows from afar.

Wyldstaar 3/17/2012 9:25:11 AM

Mayhem- Thanx.  No, I've never read the books.  I was just going by what the basic description above laid out, which was kinda vague, aside from noting that they had none of their usual weapons.  If mentors can just send their protoge's weapons, then what's the point in taking their weapons away in the first place? 

I was also operating on the assumption that Silver Surfer doesn't have his board.  If he did have his board, I would not expect him to win, however.  I would expect him to just leave, since he would not be trapped on Eternia if he's got it.

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