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Music figures we're dying to see
By Andrew Kardon
April 01, 2002
Ozzy Osbourne. Alice Cooper. KISS. Sure they've all split eardrums, showered fans with sweat and frightened parents everywhere. But they have one more thing in common: they've all been trapped in plastic. No, no, get your mind out of the gutter...we're talking about toys. Action figures to be more specific.
Rock stars have long been the subject of action figures from New Kids on the Block to Cher to even Menudo. But in recent years, toy companies (most notably McFarlane Toys) have kicked things up a notch to bring toy fans more detailed figures based on all sorts of rockers...not just boy bands.
McFarlane Toys has brought us METALLICA, JANIS JOPLIN, JERRY GARCIA, JIM MORRISON, even YELLOW SUBMARINE versions of the BEATLES. The folks at Sideshow Toy gave 12-inch life to that wacky trio called SPINAL TAP. Eternal Toys went nuts with a 9-inch version of SHAGGY 2DOPE from INSANE CLOWN POSSE. And even RUN DMC is getting the toy treatment soon courtesy of Mezco.
Yes, rock stars have definitely found their place on toy shelves. But there's still a ton of rockers we're itchin' to see get the mini treatment. Here's our pick for who should hit the toy stage next. PETE TOWNSEND
The Who's lead guitarist begs for an action figure more than just about any other rocker around. Why? Because it'd come with two of the coolest action features ever: twirling arm and guitar-smashing action! Give him two guitars (one normal and one break-apart-version) that he can either hold normally or swing overhead to smash apart on your shelf. DEE SNIDER
The makeup-wearing, poster-child for teen rebellion is just screaming for an action figure. Based right off Twisted Sister's STAY HUNGRY
album cover, give ol' DEE
a tattered outfit, sound clips of "We're Not Gonna Take It" and "I Wanna Rock," and the obligatory bone accessory that actually fits in his mouth.
In line with its METALLICA
figures, let's see McFarlane Toys put out a line of PINK FLOYD
figures covering the key members of the band (yes, even former lead-singer Roger Waters). Neat mini-playsets could include a Wall backdrop, giant floating pig and DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
colorful prism. VAN HALEN
Arguably one of the greatest rock guitarists ever, EDDIE VAN HALEN
and his familiar red-and-white axe would also sport a neat action feature: speed hands. Press a button on his back and watch his fingers work their rapid playing magic. And as a bonus, toy companies can do all sorts of Van Halen exclusives, taking their pick of lead singers...KILROY/MR. ROBOTO
Tapping into the KILROY WAS HERE
rock opera from Styx, a KILROY
action figure is a must. You remember, the rocker who hid from an anti-music society within the robotic body of Mr. Roboto? Give us a KILROY
with guitar, microphone and removable Mr. Roboto armor, and we'll be the first to shout "domo arigato"! GUNS N' ROSES
With a mouth like a sailor and more tattoos than Fantasy Island, frontman AXEL ROSE
and lead guitarist SLASH
should come in a rockin' two-pack. Besides standard guitars and microphones, give ol' Axel a few mini bottles of brew, and Slash a few dozen packs of cigs. LED ZEPPELIN
So what should a JIMMY PAGE
and ROBERT PLANT
set come with? Besides bitchin' accessories like microphones, guitars and killer sound clips, toss in the ultimate set of groupies! Mini fans that shriek, raise their hands and toss their clothes at their idols. Yeah, that's what rock toys are all about.