Harmony (Mercedes McNab) uses a little force on Hamilton (Adam Baldwin) in the ANGEL episode "Underneath".
© The WB Television Network

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A Tribute to John Thonen

Greetings Cinescapers! While every week I try to bring you more of my patented anti-wit, along with a series of unwarranted attacks on beloved television series and classic films, (an obvious sour grapes result of the failure of my latest un-produced screenplay, THE SEXY PROSTITUTES SAVE THE ORPHANS OF WAR RAVAGED AFGHANISTAN) this week I will spare you the drug of my brilliant obnoxiousness to tell you that there is a film festival/tribute to John Thonen happening in Kansas City.

So if you live in the area you should check out this link, and get your butt to that cinema. I can assure you that it's better then a magic lantern show!

Personally I'd beat up geriatrics for a chance to see BRIDE OF THE MONSTER and PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE with an audience. Better yet, I'd pay the five dollar suggested donation rather then give my regular speech on the meaning of suggested.

Last week we posed some questions, next week we'll look at the answers (or answer as fate had it).

In the meantime program your Tivo to record all the shows below and if you have something you'd like to say write me at TVWasteland@cinescape.com .

DORA THE EXPLORER (8 pm, Nik) The Big Red Chicken invites Dora to a super silly fiesta. One disgruntled viewers says "more like a super stupid fiesta," before nodding off in front of the set.

EVERWOOD (8 pm, WB) Madison wants to resume being Delia's baby sitter. The world shudders at the thought.

THE ALAMO (8 pm, TCM) John Wayne's version of THE ALAMO was considered a half-baked effort during its day. When compared to the new version coming out, it may be reassessed as an American Movie Classic.

CSI: MIAMI (10 pm, CBS) When a man who tortured Cuban refugees is murdered, Horatio suspects revenge is the motivation. Well, duh. (Repeat)

JAWS 2 (10:30 pm, AMC) An American Movie Classic.

NAVY SEALS (8 pm, AMC) Another American Movie Classic.

24 (9 pm, FOX) "6 am 7 am" Michelle's

Brendan Fraser and Arnold Vosloo face the Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns.

© 2001 Universal

NYPD BLUE (10 pm, ABC) A prisoner who gave up their child now wants it back ... but it won't fit through the bars.

THE SHIELD (10 pm, FX) Claudette and Dutch investigate a case against orders. During the investigation, in order to look as inconspicuous as possible, they both wear huge fake mustaches.

GONE WITH THE WIND (8 pm, TCM) A southern snob gets humbled.

SMALLVILLE (8 pm, WB) Clark suspects Jor-El is causing Jonathan's anti-social behavior. Jonathan suspects it's that horrible burden called life.

ENTERPRISE (8 pm, UPN) Archer goes to the future to prevent mistakes in the present. There he falls in love with his great, great, great granddaughter and corrupts the space-time continuum resulting in QUANTUM LEAP being erased from history. (Repeat)

I'M STILL ALIVE! (9 pm, UPN) People who came close to suffering horrible deaths gloat about it.

ANGEL (9 pm, WB) Eve is sought by an almost invincible stranger (the almost being the relationship breaker.) In any case, celebrate because it's a new episode of the fang gang.

TRU CALLING (8 pm, FOX) An actress dies, but not on stage.

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (9 pm, CBS) A participant in a tournament dies, significantly lowering their odds at winning.

STEPHEN KING'S KINGDOM HOSPITAL (9 pm, ABC) An evil presence is working through a pyromaniac, making things way too hot at the hospital.

WITHOUT A TRACE (10 pm, CBS) When Martin is asked to find his aunt, he says no.

TRIPPING THE RIFT (10:30 pm, SCIFI) A monolith is placed on the planet Kubrickia. Next week ten commandments are placed on the planet Demilleia.

JOAN OF ARCADIA (8 pm, CBS) Joan discovers that Joan of Arc may have been schizophrenic. God tells her to ignore that. (Repeat)

REBA (8 pm, WB) Reba inadvertently allows Kyra to date a 17-year-old. (Repeat)

THE PINK PANTHER/WAIT UNTIL DARK (8 pm, TCM) 1) An incompetent inspector's wife is cheats on him with two men. 2) The best blind girl on the block is harassed by criminals.

STARGATE SG-1 (9 pm, SCI-FI) 1) Jonas digs to save his planet. 2) O'Neill discovers a planet inhabited by former Goa'uld slaves. 3) Third verse same as the first. (All Repeats)

THE MUMMY RETURNS (8 pm, ABC) Sequel to

Harmony (Mercedes McNab) uses a little force on Hamilton (Adam Baldwin) in the ANGEL episode "Underneath".

© The WB Television Network

ANNIE HALL (8 pm, TCM) One of the greatest romantic comedies of all time, except for the part about the relationship disintegrating.

JACKIE CHAN ADVENTURES (8 pm, TOON) Jackie battles mobsters to in order to retrieve talismans. Expect some impressive animated stunts.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (11:30, NBC) Drew Barrymore shows up along with musical guest Kelis.

THE SIMPSONS (8 pm, FOX) 1) Edna leaves Principal Skinner 2) Artie Ziff returns to annoy. 2) Michael Moore supports Lisa. (All repeats, all crappy descriptions)

STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE (8 pm, UPN) The only STAR TREK film to ever feel like a true cinematic epic.

CHARMED (8 pm, WB) A spider demon shows up during the second wave of press buildup for SPIDER-MAN 2.

ALIAS (10 pm, ABC) Vaughn finds out the truth about his mother-in-law, that she's boring.

And the wrap's been set. Until next time send your gripes to Tvwasteland@cinescape.com.

TV Wasteland is our weekly Television column.