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TV Wasteland: Another Bloody End
The True Blood season finale is this week.
By Rob Vaux
August 12, 2013
True Blood ends its sixth season this week, with the promise of more to come. This has been a fairly good year for it: rebounding ever a couple of lackluster seasons and delivering on some of the more intriguing premises it toyed with over the years. It’s also endured the whole Twilight boondoggle fairly unscathed, and with vampires suddenly not so cool as those teenyboppers once thought, it’s a nice reminder that you can do sudsy soapy bloodsuckers without the inanity of Stephanie Meyer’s blight upon the genre. A nice tip of the hat to the gang in Bon Temps. We’ll see you next year guys; we’re looking forward to it!
The True Blood season finale airs this Sunday at 9:00 PM EDT on HBO.
Under the Dome (CBS, 10:00 PM EDT)
Junior learns some secrets about his family after he makes the mistake of defending his father.
Teen Wolf (MTV, 10:00 PM EDT)
Derek and Peter need to save Cora. That’s all we got on this week’s entry.
Fallen (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Denzel Washington headlines a terrific supernatural thriller about a policeman pursuing a demon who can move from body to body.
Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (IFC, 10:45 PM EDT)
Of all the Chainsaw sequels out there, this is one of them.
Hotel Transylvania (Starz, 7:20 PM EDT)
Okay Adam Sandler, you can have this one.
Men in Black 3 (Starz, 9:00 PM EDT)
Against all odds, a troubled production actually turns in a pretty good movie. Repeats on Sunday at 9:00 PM EDT.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusad (Syfy, 8:00 PM EDT)
Sean Connery and Harrison Ford join forces for a thoroughly satisfying entry in the venerable franchise.
Assault on Precinct 13 (Cinemax, 8:10 PM EDT)
The remake of the John Carpenter drive-in classic actually proves to be pretty terrific. Who knew?
Snake Eyes (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EDT)
And who doesn’t love a patented slice of Brian De Palma nutso?
A Bug’s Life (Disney, 8:00 PM EDT)
One of Pixar’s weaker efforts: a loosely revised version of Seven Samurai featuring a motley group of insects.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (FXM, 8:00 PM EDT and 10:30 PM EDT)
It’s getting a lot of play lately, mostly as a reminder of how much better the new one is.
Rio (FX, 8:00 PM EDT and 10:00 PM EDT)
Parrots could have made for a marvelous animated feature. This one is merely okay.
Face Off (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
A new season of the movie make-up competition kicks off.
Heroes of Cosplay (Syfy, 10:30 PM EDT)
A new series premiere, covering hard-core convention cosplayers and their very impressive creations.
Conan the Barbarian (BBC America, 9:00 PM EDT)
The wonderful, ridiculous, perennial swords-and-sorcery classic remains just as much of a hoot today as it was thirty years ago.
Big Trouble in Little China (Sundance, 10:00 PM EDT)
At least one of those hoity-toity movie channels understands how awesome this is.
Chronicle (Cinemax, 8:30 PM EDT)
The found-footage format is a little old hat, but the rest of the film – a revisionist superhero story about three boys who gain super powers – is very impressive.
Prometheus (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EDT)
Ridley Scott’s ambitious prequel to Alien holds a lot of power, despite some overly ambitious flaws.
Cars (Disney, 8:00 PM EDT)
And now it’s given us Planes. You can show yourself out, movie.
The Warriors (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT and 10:00 PM EDT)
Can we all just admit that it’s at least a little goofy?
Futurama (Comedy, 10:00 PM EDT)
Fry’s got a song in his head driving him batty, so the crew goes into his dreams to figure it out.
Paranormal Witness (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
A man notices the face of a saint everywhere he goes.
Rise of the Guardians (HBO, 7:15 PM EDT)
It’s Santa and the Easter Bunny taking on the Boogeyman in a surprisingly good animated feature.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (FXM, 8:00 PM EDT and 10:30 PM EDT)
My favorite entry in the Narnia book series turns out to be a colossal bore on the big screen.
Scarface (AMC, 8:00 PM EDT)
If you want totally-off-the-wall nutso, Brain De Palma has your hook-up. Again.
Transformers (FX, 7:00 PM EDT)
Remember when “based on the popular toys” was something you never heard about a movie?
Burn Notice (USA, 9:00 PM EDT)
An old friend inadvertently threatens to blow Michael’s cover, while Sam and Jesse go all West Side Story with the local street gangs.
Wilfred (FX, 10:00 PM EDT)
Once again, Wilfred comes between Ryan and a non-canine friend. Bad. Dog.
The Eagle (Cinemax, 7:05 PM EDT)
Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell head north of the wall to reclaim the sigil of the lost Roman Ninth Legion. It’s not great, but it’s okay… and you’re not going to do much better tonight.
Taken 2 (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EDT)
Considering that Liam Neeson and Famke Janssen are the leads, this really should have kicked more ass.
Pulp Fiction (AMC, 7:00 PM EDT)
I’d say this was your horse tonight, but it’s AMC, so they’re going to edit out the profanity.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (Syfy, 8:00 PM EDT)
This surprisingly good sequel begat a surprisingly bad Part 3. It would be more forgivable if they didn’t end this one on a cliffhanger.
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl (Disney, 8:00 PM EDT)
Robert Rodriguez has good intentions, but this kids’ superhero fantasy is a giant pile of crap.
The Watch (HBO, 9:00 PM EDT)
WHO thought this was a good idea?
Crank 2: High Voltage (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Jason Statham offends everybody here… but he also shoots some bad people, so it’s okay.
Bangkok Dangerous (IFC, 10:00 PM EDT)
Life wouldn’t be complete without a batshit crazy Nicolas Cage performance here and there.
The Last Airbender (Nickelodeon, 7:00 PM EDT)
I’m told the cartoon was quite good. Shyamalan fixed that.
The Odd Life of Timothy Green (Starz, 9:00 PM EDT)
This whimsical family-based fantasy means well, but doesn’t have the first idea how to strike the right tone.
The White Queen (Starz, 10:00 PM EDT)
Edward wants a son… isn’t that always the way with these unstable rulers?
Continuum (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
Online mayhem rips through Vancouver, prompting Kiera and Carlos to hunt down the perpetrator.
Frankenweenie (Starz, 9:00 PM EDT)
The stop motion is awesome. The story, less so. Tim Burton really needs to focus on the script once in a while.
Hot Fuzz (BBC America, 8:00 PM EDT)
Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost love the movies just as much as we do. God bless them.
This is Spinal Tap (BBC America, 10:30 PM EDT)
BBC America wins the Double Feature Award this week. Hands down.
The Godfather (AMC, 8:00 PM EDT)
I’m only mentioning it because, you know… The Godfather.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Cinemax, 8:15 PM EDT)
Nuts to all y’all. I liked it. Repeats on Saturday at 10:00 PM EDT.
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (HBO, 6:45 PM EDT)
Stick with Iron Man, Robert. This franchise kind of self-destructed.
Sucker Punch (FX, 7:30 PM EDT)
Superman is this guy’s bitch now. God help us.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (Spike, 8:30 PM EDT)
Somewhere out there is a master’s thesis explaining exactly how this film fits into the rest of the Fast and the Furious continuity. Repeats on Saturday at 8:00 PM EDT.
The Time Traveler’s Wife (TNT, 8:00 PM EDT and 10:00 PM EDT)
This science fiction fantasy about a man who inadvertently travels back and forth in time is really quite beautiful.
Do No Harm (NBC, 10:00 PM EDT)
It just won’t die!
Being Human (BBC America, 10:00 PM EDT)
The series comes to an end with Hal building an army and the trio doing battle with the devil himself. On the plus side, there will be no more confusion over which version of this show we’re talking about.
Axe Giant (Syfy, 7:00 PM EDT)
Paul Bunyon is the monster. Yes, really.
Bigfoot (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
The legendary Sasquatch wreaks havoc in a small town. Yawn.
Toy Story 2 (ABC Family, 8:00 PM EDT)
If you were unfortunate enough to see Planes this weekend, this should restore your faith in Pixar quite nicely.
Planet of the Apes (FXM, 8:00 PM EDT and 10:30 PM EDT)
Can you believe Tim Roth gave up playing Snape in order to star in this turkey?
Cloverfield (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Let’s just call it a nice opening act for Pacific Rim and leave it at that.
V for Vendetta (IFC, 9:45 PM EDT)
I think we were all a little disappointed by this adaptation of the legendary graphic novel, despite a number of good qualities.
Real Steel (Showtime, 7:00 PM EDT)
Come for the robots. Stay for the Hugh Jackman.
True Blood (HBO, 9:00 PM EDT)
Season Six comes to an end, as Bill seeks salvation and a whole new threat introduces itself to keep us on our toes. See the top of the article for more.
Dexter (Showtime, 9:00 PM EDT)
Dexter’s new Mini-Me might be getting out of hand, even while Dexter tries to help Hannah plot an exit strategy
Toy Story 3 (ABC Family, 7:30 PM EDT and 9:45 PM EDT)
Nice to close with a Pixar Part 3 that doesn’t actually suck.
Dark Shadows (HBO, 7:00 PM EDT)
At least HBO is sticking with a theme tonight…
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare and Freddy vs. Jason (Syfy, 7:00 PM EDT and 9:00 PM EDT)
Two of Freddy’s could-be-worse entries serenade us out this week. Have a good one everyone!