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TV Wasteland: Cthulhurendous
H.P. Lovecraft gets another adaptation this week on Syfy By
Rob Vaux
October 11, 2009
H.P. Lovecraft's legacy once again enters the TV Wasteland
© Syfy/Bob Trate
Every time another H.P. Lovecraft adaptation is released, the collective fanbase suppresses a groan. The renowned horror author may have changed the face of the genre, but his work always struggled to assert itself onscreen. Let's face it: it's awfully difficult to convey unnamable horrors when you not only have to name them, but show them to us with a direct-to-DVD budget. Hence, a distressing number of the master's adaptations feel cheaper than a third-rate carnie funhouse.
A few odd gems (such as the retro-silent Call of Cthulhu and the little-seen Yellow Sign) struggle to assert themselves amid an ocean of waste, while the most noted bits of Lovecraftian cinema (such as Alien and In The Mouth of Madness) don't actually stem from Lovecraft at all.
Syfy doesn't look to improve the equation much with an update of The Dunwich Horror slated to air this Sunday. Roger Corman produced a psychedelic take on it back in the 1960s, and the new version scores modest points by casting Dean Stockwell in a prominent role. Stockwell played evil cultist Wilbur Whateley in the original, in search of an ancient book required to access the realm of Tentacled Ickiness. He switches sides here, taking the role of a redoubtable Miskatonic University professor while Jeffrey Combs steps in as Whateley. Combs remains a staple of Lovecraft adaptations--starting with his career-making turn in Re-Animator--but while he often brings plenty of grindhouse glee to his efforts, they don't always make for a good movie.
It beggars the question why keep making films like this? Besides the obvious answer (Lovecraft fans will tune in even if it sucks), the filmmakers presumably hope to draw more attention to the author's work, and perhaps make it relevant to our modern age. Such instances not only elevate the author, but also make the long hours of swimming through crappy movies worth it. While The Dunwich Horror stands there just begging to let us down, oh what a happy day it will be if it has something more to offer. If you don't watch, you'll never know… and thus does the vicious cycle repeat itself, buoyed up by a few bright lights in a sea of inky darkness. Here's wishing another one gets lit this Sunday night at 7:00 PM EDT on Syfy.
Monday
Heroes (NBC, 8:00 PM EDT)
The intrigues of the Sullivan Brothers carnival stand front and center tonight, as Samuel Sullivan (Robert Knepper) plans to add to his ranks and Lydia (Dawn Oliviari) worries about what that might trigger.
Clash of the Gods (History, 10:00 PM EDT)
It's back to Norway for an in-depth look at the god Thor. Presumably, he will not be fighting the Incredible Hulk this time around.
Tuesday
The Universe (History, 10:00 PM EDT)
The Universe takes a good hard look at the sun this week. (Metaphorically, of course, since we can't have History Channel producers stumbling around with seared retinas.)
CSA: The Confederate States of America (IFC, 8:30 PM EDT)
IFC offers an alternately funny and chilling mock documentary positing a hypothetical Confederate victory in the U.S. Civil War.
Wednesday
Eastwick (ABC, 10:00 PM EDT)
The satanic divorce attorney is apparently a go after all, while Roxie (Rebecca Romijn) checks up on her hunky neighbor (Jack Huston). I'm told there actually is genre content somewhere amid all the soap; would anyone who's actually seen the show like to confirm?
Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
We're north of the border for some good old-fashioned Canadian ghosts, courtesy of Kingston's Fort Henry.
Destination: Truth (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
The Peruvian jungle supposedly holds a creature known as the Chullachaqui, which Josh Gates and his minions investigate. The Bermuda Triangle is also on the docket, since no direct-to-cable reality show has covered that topic for at least a week or so.
Nostradamus Effect (History, 9:00 PM EDT)
An ancient book, possibly written by Nostradamus, serves as this week's focus… signaling that the concept may be running out of gas.
Mysteryquest (History, 10:00 PM EDT)
Everyone knows the U.S. government is in bed with extraterrestrials, but why should they have all the fun? Mysteryquest covers the secret UFO programs from a number of different governments. Who knew that grainy home movies featuring hubcaps flung across backyard lawns could bring the world closer together?
Howl's Moving Castle (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Even minor Miyazaki is better than most of the other animated films out there, as this disjointed but gorgeous 2004 effort shows.
Thursday
FlashForward (ABC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Retroactive medicine takes on an entirely new meaning as a patient's vision may help his doctors find a cure for his condition.
Fringe (Fox, 9:00 PM EDT)
An unprovoked assault may have been caused by a dream, prompting the team to bust out with the seeing stones to find the source.
Vampire Diaries (The CW, 8:00 PM EDT)
Stefan (Paul Wesley) discusses his family's dirty laundry with Elena (Nina Dobrev) in a manner I'm betting evokes unflattering comparisons to True Blood. Seriously kids, you're going to be really embarrassed one day when you have to admit you watched this show.
Supernatural (The CW, 9:00 PM EDT)
A series of murders bearing resemblance to classic fairy tales brings the Winchester brothers straight to the door of a small boy.
Friday
Smallville (The CW, 8:00 PM EDT)
Smallville's creepy incarnation of the Toyman (Chris Gauthier) returns to blow up one of Oliver Queen's (Justin Hartley) high-end soirees.
Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8:00 PM EDT)
Melinda (Jennifer Love Hewitt) investigates a hospital morgue haunted by the specter of a guilt-ridden surgeon.
Medium (CBS, 9:00 PM EDT)
Allison (Patricia Arquette) comes up with a novel new approach to saving an endangered baby: kidnapping him. We'll see how the local constabulary responds to her little reindeer games.
Stargate Universe (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
There's more fun and games aboard the Destiny when power levels start to drop and the crew has to find some means of stabilizing them.
Sanctuary (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
The two-part season premiere comes to a thundering conclusion as the Cabal launches a worldwide attack.
Batman: The Brave and The Bold (Cartoon, 7:30 PM EDT)
With a metal man on the rampage, the Caped Crusader turns to OMAC for help as the love-it-or-hate-it animated series returns to U.S airwaves.
Star Wars: Clone Wars (Cartoon, 8:00 PM EDT)
Brace yourselves: it's a Padme episode. Everyone's favorite way-too-young-to-be-a-Senator Senator ferrets out a Separatist plot amid the halls of power.
Iron Man: Armored Adventures (NickToons, 7:00 PM EDT)
Iron Man, Rhodes and Pepper head off to find the 4th Makluan Ring before it falls into the wrong hands.
Fox has baseball, so Dollhouse is off. Go Angels!
Saturday
From Hell (IFC, 10:00 PM EDT)
Historical inaccuracies notwithstanding, the Hughes Brothers created a first-rate adaptation of Alan Moore's renowned take on the Jack the Ripper murders, featuring terrific turns from Johnny Depp and Robbie Coltrane as the inspectors assigned to the case.
Saw II and Saw III are double-featured on Syfy tonight, but y'all know better than to tune in, don't you?
Sunday
Dexter (Showtime, 9:00 PM EDT)
Dexter's (Michael C. Hall) latest target turns out to be cut from the same cloth as he: a policewoman who killed her family.
The Dunwich Horror (Syfy, 7:00 PM EDT)
Syfy dusts off the venerable H.P. Lovecraft story for a 21st century update. See the top of the article for more.
Wolvesbayne (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
The follow-through on Syfy's Sunday night donnybrook involves a heroic werewolf taking on a clan of vampires. Yancy Butler's in it, however, and it's nice to see her back in genre programming (at least until that Mann & Machine reunion movie comes through).
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Lovecraft is all about creepy. Modern film makers don't seem to do creepy very well. They'd rather drench the screen in blood and gore. I'd rather have a good dose of creepy myself.
Kara S