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TV Wasteland: Halloween's A Little Early
IFC Celebrates the best holiday of the year with a festival of horror films. By
Rob Vaux
October 18, 2009
Olivia Wilde, Melissa George and Josh Duhamel in Fox Atomic's TURISTAS(2006).
© Fox Atomic
Everyone jumps on the horror movie bandwagon this time of year and 2009 is no exception. Click to any given channel and you'll find creature features of all varieties, from immortal classics to third-rate turds. The Independent Film Channel, however, goes a little above and beyond this year: seeking out lesser known works both new and old to showcase on their prime-time line-up.
Not all of them are classics (the less said about Eli Roth's Cabin Fever the better), but all of them were made by directors with a passion and enthusiasm for the medium. They started on Sunday and run through Halloween. Any of them makes an excellent DVR choice to record and watch on All Hallows' Eve (especially if you've missed one or two before now). They cap another full week of genre programming… blissfully free of "spooky" holiday-based episodes for now, the better to hit us full in the face with them next week.
Monday
Heroes (NBC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Oooh! Sylar's (Zachary Quinto) going on another "journey of self discovery!" Maybe that will obscure the fact that he's a serial-killing Mary Sue who should have been written out of the show years ago.
I Know What I Saw (History, 9:00 PM EDT)
Eyewitnesses who claim to have seen UFOs gather in Washington to share stories, compare notes, and give host James Fox a reason to collect a paycheck.
Turistas (IFC, 7:25 PM EDT)
IFC's bevy of prime-time horror movies continues with this 2006 quickie about why you should never vacation in Third World countries. See the top of the article for more.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (IFC, 10:00 PM EDT)
You've all seen it a zillion times, but if you want to make it a zillion and one, IFC's got it.
Tuesday
The Universe (History, 9:00 PM EDT)
The odd topic of liquids in space is discussed, with an emphasis on exotic permutations such as lakes made of methane.
Motel Hell (IFC, 7:15 PM EDT)
IFC's horror fest continues with a strange bit of schlock about a farmer who kills travelers to feed to his animals.
The Incredible Hulk (Cinemax, 8:00 PM EDT)
Was it too early for a reboot? It may have been too early for a reboot.
Wednesday
Eastwick (ABC, 10:00 PM EDT)
Astronomical convergences impact the witches' lives in both good ways and bad this week.
Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
The Congress Theater of Chicago comes under the team's discerning eye, along with its reputation for disembodied voices and ghostly manifestations.
Destination Truth (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
Big-ass birds in Alaska and wild claims about Incan ruins serve as fodder for this week's investigation.
Nostradamus Effect (History, 9:00 PM EDT)
Nostradamus's prophesies are filtered through the Biblical apocalypse to see what emerges. (I'm guessing a lot of tears and hurt feelings among other things.)
MysteryQuest (History, 10:00 PM EDT)
We're got a one-sentence description for this one: "Rise of the Fourth Reich" (which beggars the tangential question of whether the first two Reichs ever resent being lumped in with the Third).
Cabin Fever (IFC, 7:25 PM EDT)
Eli Roth's smug, hateful and extremely popular 2002 debut--about a group of asshole college students who contract a horrible disease--continues IFC's horror-fest.
Thursday
FlashForward (ABC, 8:00 PM EDT)
When it comes to inexplicable worldwide phenomena, there's no one better qualified to get to the bottom of it all than the U.S. Senate. Benford (Joseph Fiennes) travels to Washington to witness their laser-like efficiency first-hand.
Ginger Snaps (IFC, 7:10 PM EDT)
This clever, gory and one-of-a-kind werewolf story from north of the border marks a high point in IFC's horror lineup.
Supernatural, Fringe, and The Vampire Diaries are all reruns this week.
Friday
Smallville (The CW, 8:00 PM EDT)
It's Roulette's turn in the guest villain's chair when she kidnaps Oliver (Justin Hartley). While I'm sure they got a swell actress for the part, she's going to have to work hard if she wants to top Virginia Madsen's vocal work from Justice League Unlimited.
Dollhouse (Fox, 9:00 PM EDT)
Time for a Sierra (Dichen Lachman) episode as we learn more about the circumstances surrounding her arrival at the Dollhouse. Former Number One Jonathan Frakes directs.
Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8:00 PM EDT)
A man who believes that the ghost of his dead sister is troubling him seeks help from Melinda (Jennifer Love Hewitt).
Medium (CBS, 9:00 PM EDT)
The network makes a scheduling switch, and last week's reported episode--in which Allison (Patricia Arquette) kidnaps an infant in order to save his life--is actually airing this week. Apologies for any confusion this may have caused.
Stargate Universe (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
The Destiny is headed straight for a blazing sun, and only a certain number of people can leave in time. We'll see what last-minute solution the writers concoct to have them eel them out of this one.
Sanctuary (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
With Sanctuaries all over the world destroyed in the wake of the Cabal's attack, Dr. Magnus (Amanda Tapping) opens her doors to new Abnormal refugees while continuing the search for her wayward daughter.
Batman: The Brave and the Bold (Cartoon, 7:30 EDT)
Neil Patrick Harris--currently The Coolest Man on the Whole Damn Planet--provides the voice of the evil Music Meister, who arrays his mind-bending abilities against Batman and the Black Canary.
Star Wars: Clone Wars (Cartoon, 8:00 PM EDT)
You've got to get them while they're young, Jedi and Sith alike. The bad guys finally pick up on that notion as Cad Bane sets out to find a new batch of younglings to corrupt to the Dark Side.
Iron Man: Armored Adventures (NickToons, 7:00 PM EDT)
Iron Man finds himself dependant upon the Living Laser for survival after first making an effort to save him.
Pumpkinhead (IFC, 7:30 PM EDT)
The late Stan Winston tried his hand at directing with a decent little potboiler about a vengeful demon unleashed by a grieving father. It's worth it for the cool monster and for Lance Henriksen's enjoyable performance in the lead.
Jurassic Park, (Cinemax, 7:45 PM EDT)
Say what you will about Spielberg, he knows how to deliver a money shot. "You want dinosaurs? Okay. How's this…?"
Alien and Aliens (AMC, 8:00 PM EDT and 10:30 PM EDT)
AMC did us the courtesy of running the two good ones tonight, while saving the two bad ones for tomorrow night.
Saturday
Shadow of the Vampire (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT)
A flawed film with an intriguing premise, Shadow bears watching for the great performance from Willem Defoe. He plays Nosferatu star Max Schreck… who in the film's reality happens to be a real vampire.
Ghost Town (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
We have a Gil Gerard sighting! Repeat, WE HAVE A GIL GERARD SIGHTING! Condition red! Condition red!!!
Sunday
Dexter (Showtime, 9:00 PM EDT)
Dexter (Michael C. Hall) decides to take on the Trinity Killer himself. Meanwhile, Mrs. Dexter (Julie Benz) catches sight of her husband's hidden side and begins to question who or what he really is.
Paranoia 1.0 (IFC, 6:55 PM EDT)
Computer programmers are a twitchy bunch to begin with, but when one of them starts receiving empty packages in his apartment, it sends him off the deep end. And if you know actor Jeremy Sisto's body of work, we're talking a seriously deep end.
Strangeland (IFC, 8:30 PM EDT)
Former Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider helms this derivative piece of hackery about a madman who tortures his victims through body modification rituals.
Nosferatu (TCM, 9:30 PM EDT)
TCM hosts a bevy of genre movies tonight--including 1965's Die Monster Die and 1954's horrendously dated Riders to the Stars--but they save the best for last. F.W. Murnau's silent masterpiece Nosferatu arrives to reaffirm its status as king of the vampire films. No sparkly bloodsuckers here; just the repellant, rodent-like Max Schreck whose visage has inspired countless sleepless nights for the better part of a century.
Actually, I liked Alein 4. Wynonna Ryder made a good android and the Ripley hybrid clone idea was cool. Wonder whatever happened to the clone...
Have I mentioned lately how much I HATE FOOTBALL!!!!! Or rather, how much I hate sporting events which are scheduled to end at 07:00 but go into overtime untill 08:15. If 60 minutes is scheduled to start at 07:00 then it should start at 07:00. If the football game isn't over yet, too damn bad.
Kara S