TV Wasteland: June Gloom -

TV Wasteland: June Gloom

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TV Wasteland: June Gloom

Summer rolls in with an uneventful TV Week

By Rob Vaux     June 18, 2012

It’s another quiet week on the Wasteland. Let’s get to it!

Eureka (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Carter begins to get smarter and smarter while Allison’s brother arrives to scope out her new hubby.

Lost Girl (Syfy, 10:00 PM EST)
Someone slips Bo a Mickey Finn and the proverbial wacky mayhem ensues.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EST)
Not only is this the best Planet of the Apes movie since the original, but I am actively salivating at some of the ideas being kicked around for a sequel.

Hancock (FX, 8:00 PM EST)
No sequel is likely here, but that Will Smith is a hoot, isn’t he?

Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Any Pacific Northwesterners out there familiar with the Oregon Vortex? They’re checking it out this week, along with a more mundane haunted pub.

Green Lantern (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EST)
Dear DC: this is why we’re not excited about the prospect of a Justice League movie.

The Hills Have Eyes II (Syfy, 7:00 PM EST)
Total, utter garbage… and on top of a surprisingly good original too. (Though admittedly said original was actually a remake.)

Haunted Collector (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Yet another round of realty show hauntings, this week’s episode covers objects in New York and Virginia.

School Spirits (Syfy, 10:00 PM EST)
And the hits just keep on coming as Syfy premieres a new series about supposed hauntings at schools and universities. Next!

Beetlejuice (ABC Family, 9:00 PM EST)
Michael Keaton’s best performance? It’s definitely in the running.

Red Dawn (AMC, 8:00 PM EST)
Before the remake ruins everything for everyone, let’s take a look back on the quintessentially 80s original.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EST)
Now that it’s ended, check out how it began. It’s not the best of the Harry Potter series, but it will do.

Zombieland (FX, 8:00 PM EST)
This one still leaves me cold, but damn there’s some talent up there on screen.

Burn Notice (USA, 9:00 PM EST)
Michael agrees to take down a drug cartel in exchange for getting to see Fiona, while making contact with an old mentor in the process.

Planet of the Apes (FMC, 8:00 PM EST)
Tim Burton again? Aw, Ma…!

The Happening (FMC, 10:30 PM EST)
Or M. Night Shyamalan’s Waterloo if you prefer.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (IFC, 8:00 PM EST)
Sam Rockwell steals the show as intergalactic douchebag Zaphod Beeblebrox, though the whole film acquits itself well.

Saw II (IFC, 10:15 PM EST)
Keep milking it guys. I’m sure it will peter out in five or six more movies…

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (Syfy, 7:00 PM EST)
This series, on the other hand, stands as one of the great guilty pleasures of our age.

X-Men (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Remember when we had no idea who Hugh Jackman was, and worried about whether he could pull off Wolverine? We were so adorable back then.

Predators (Cinemax, 8:10 PM EST)
I will never get tired of this movie. Don’t ask me why.

Iron Man (FX, 6:00 PM EST)
This one holds up pretty well too.

Freddy vs. Jason (Starz, 7:20 PM EST)
I wouldn’t call this great, but it’s hard not to smile at Robert Englund rocking the role that made him famous.

Watchmen (TNT, 8:00 PM EST)
Still controversial, still brilliant, and a reminder of why the new Superman film might not suck as bad as we fear.

Fright Night (Showtime, 7:00 PM EST)
This forgotten remake from last summer retains much of the wit and appeal of the original film, while taking it in a refreshingly different direction.

Cars (ABC Family, 7:00 PM EST)
Once the runt of the Pixar litter, it gained some competition for the last-place title last summer and may have a few more before too many more years roll on.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Cartoon, 7:00 PM EST)
Hard to believe it’s been almost 25 years since this Robert Zemeckis classic graced our screens. It still works wonders.

1408 (FMC, 7:30 PM EST)
This Stephen King adaptation has seen a lot of replay lately. Not sure why.

Eight Legged Freaks (Syfy, 7:00 PM EST)
Oh David Arquette, why do you hurt us so?

Arachnoquake (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
The hardest part of Syfy original movies has got to be the title. After that, they pretty much write themselves. Example: an earthquake unleashes evil spiders. Go.

Wristcutters: A Love Story (Sundance, 10:00 PM EST)
This lovely, quirky little comedy details the lost souls who commit suicide, and find themselves in a world just like ours except everything is a little crappier.  Well worth a look if you’re in the mood for something different.

War of the Worlds (TNT, 8:00 PM EST)
Steven Spielberg scores a powerful near-miss in this adaptation of the H.G. Wells classic.

Sherlock Holmes (TNT, 10:30 PM EST)
TNT follows it with the terrific take on the famous sleuth, with Robert Downey, Jr. rocking the house yet again as Holmes.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (USA, 8:30 PM EST)
The sequel isn’t going to be any better, is it?

True Blood (HBO, 9:00 PM EST)
Roman has to decide whether Bill and Eric’s proposal is worth keeping them alive, while the search for Debbie Pelt gets a little too close for Sookie’s comfort.
Falling Skies (TNT, 9:00 PM EST)
The unit moves into new quarters, while Tom has to contend with the plots of his fellow berserkers.

My Babysitter’s a Vampire (Disney, 9:00 PM EST)
Any questions?

Avatar (FX, 7:00 PM EST)
It’s less impressive on the small screen, and you have to actually listen to the script.

Toy Story 3 (Starz, 7:15 PM EST)
The last great Pixar movie? Only time will tell.

Signs (Syfy, 6:30 PM EST)
This might be the last great Shyamalan movie as well.

The Mist (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
We’re ending the week on a downer this time. A great downer, but a downer nonetheless. 



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countzenith 6/18/2012 2:21:21 AM

 I would like to iterate my suggestion of Continuum on Showcase up here in Canada.  New episodes are on at 9:00pm on Sunday.  I know the episodes are on the site.  I don't know if they can be seen outside of Canada.  If someone can let me know one way or another on here, that would be great.  Otherwise you might have to wait until it hits Syfy to watch it.  It's only a 10 episode season and they just aired episode 4.

Wiseguy 6/18/2012 6:14:34 AM

Props to AMC and all the folks behind THE KILLING. Excellent, excellent series. I loved it all the way through both seasons. No fillers and not a minute wasted. Yeah I was a little peeved that it was stretched beyond season 1 but they redeemed themselves every single episode. Hell I would've liked one more episode to wrap up Linden's story as far as her personal life, but I guess a little ambiguity is OK

Really loved the last turn the case took. Really caught me off guard. It's great when they can do that and it doesn't seem forced or as a cheap trick but rather pretty organic and natural to the story. KUDOS

Now there's nothing that's a must watch or any series that I care about on tv til Breaking Bad returns next month. Guess that's a good thing because I really need to mow the lawn and trim the hedges ;)

karas1 6/18/2012 6:42:55 AM

A couple of weeks ago I enjoyed the Syfy original movie Jersey Shore Shark Attack.  It was goofy fun which aimed for the "so bad it's good" vibe and hit the bullseye.  The Jersey Shore lookalike crew preened, flexed and pouted through the movie and the CGI sharks only sort of looked like sharks.  It was hysterical, especially when a shark jumped out of the water and ate Joey Fatone (ex boy band member) right off the stage!  And the bit where someone says "It ate Vinnie!" and they spend the next few minutes trying to decide WHICH Vinnie it ate was so good they did it twice!

You could do worse on a dull Saturday evening.

But why so many shows where they search for ghosts?  I understand that they are dirt cheap to produce but are they really so profitable that they have to turn Syfy into the Ghost Channel?  Maybe they could introduce some more scripted scifi dramas instead?

Wiseguy 6/18/2012 6:58:03 AM

Rob you should've done a 25th anniversary piece on Predator last week instead of the E.T. piece which could've waited

lusiphur 6/18/2012 6:58:04 AM

 Haven't watch The Killing's finale yet.  

karas1 - surprised at the good review for Jersey Shore Shark Attack.  

As for ghosts on Syfy, I would be OK with a lot less of the pseudo-reality shows they do and more scripted shows too.  Heck, I'd be OK with them going back to their roots and start showing classic sci-fi shows like they did in the early days of the channel.  I guess those are almost as expensive to air as they original dramas are to make.  Too bad.  You'd think the pockets at NBC/Universal would be a bit deeper than they seem to be.

DarthoftheDead 6/18/2012 9:52:14 AM

Aww, Cmon, Wiseguy, do the the agree about the E.T. thing....

conundrum 6/18/2012 9:55:45 AM

Does Sie-fee make those horrible movies, knowing they are utter crap, on purpose?  Or do they actually hope one will be a home run?  I mean, any writer or actor looking for work knows such a debacle cannot be a career helper.  RIP - SciFi

Walker 6/18/2012 1:14:50 PM

 Does Sie-fee make those horrible movies, knowing they are utter crap, on purpose?

Yes. In Polish, syfy is the plural of "filth" or "crap".  Never was a channel so aptly named.

DarthoftheDead 6/18/2012 1:58:36 PM

Fine be that way.....I'll do it, lol.

"Get Tu da Choppa!!!!"

shac2846 6/18/2012 2:41:19 PM

 The Killing season finale was excellent. Wonder what they'll do for the next season if it's renewed. 

Also breaking bad starts in about 3 weeks I think. My wife and I streamed the first 3 seasons on netflix and got so addicted we went out and bought season 4 last tuesday when it came out. I highly recommend to any maniac wanting something to watch for the rest of the summer. 

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