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TV Wasteland: June Gloom
Summer rolls in with an uneventful TV Week By
Rob Vaux
June 18, 2012
Source: Mania.com
I will never get tired of this movie. Do not ask me why.
© 20th Century Fox
It’s another quiet week on the Wasteland. Let’s get to it!
Monday
Eureka (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Carter begins to get smarter and smarter while Allison’s brother arrives to scope out her new hubby.
Lost Girl (Syfy, 10:00 PM EST)
Someone slips Bo a Mickey Finn and the proverbial wacky mayhem ensues.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EST)
Not only is this the best Planet of the Apes movie since the original, but I am actively salivating at some of the ideas being kicked around for a sequel.
Hancock (FX, 8:00 PM EST)
No sequel is likely here, but that Will Smith is a hoot, isn’t he?
Tuesday
Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Any Pacific Northwesterners out there familiar with the Oregon Vortex? They’re checking it out this week, along with a more mundane haunted pub.
Green Lantern (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EST)
Dear DC: this is why we’re not excited about the prospect of a Justice League movie.
The Hills Have Eyes II (Syfy, 7:00 PM EST)
Total, utter garbage… and on top of a surprisingly good original too. (Though admittedly said original was actually a remake.)
Wednesday
Haunted Collector (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Yet another round of realty show hauntings, this week’s episode covers objects in New York and Virginia.
School Spirits (Syfy, 10:00 PM EST)
And the hits just keep on coming as Syfy premieres a new series about supposed hauntings at schools and universities. Next!
Beetlejuice (ABC Family, 9:00 PM EST)
Michael Keaton’s best performance? It’s definitely in the running.
Red Dawn (AMC, 8:00 PM EST)
Before the remake ruins everything for everyone, let’s take a look back on the quintessentially 80s original.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EST)
Now that it’s ended, check out how it began. It’s not the best of the Harry Potter series, but it will do.
Zombieland (FX, 8:00 PM EST)
This one still leaves me cold, but damn there’s some talent up there on screen.
Thursday
Burn Notice (USA, 9:00 PM EST)
Michael agrees to take down a drug cartel in exchange for getting to see Fiona, while making contact with an old mentor in the process.
Planet of the Apes (FMC, 8:00 PM EST)
Tim Burton again? Aw, Ma…!
The Happening (FMC, 10:30 PM EST)
Or M. Night Shyamalan’s Waterloo if you prefer.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (IFC, 8:00 PM EST)
Sam Rockwell steals the show as intergalactic douchebag Zaphod Beeblebrox, though the whole film acquits itself well.
Saw II (IFC, 10:15 PM EST)
Keep milking it guys. I’m sure it will peter out in five or six more movies…
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (Syfy, 7:00 PM EST)
This series, on the other hand, stands as one of the great guilty pleasures of our age.
X-Men (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Remember when we had no idea who Hugh Jackman was, and worried about whether he could pull off Wolverine? We were so adorable back then.
Friday
Predators (Cinemax, 8:10 PM EST)
I will never get tired of this movie. Don’t ask me why.
Iron Man (FX, 6:00 PM EST)
This one holds up pretty well too.
Freddy vs. Jason (Starz, 7:20 PM EST)
I wouldn’t call this great, but it’s hard not to smile at Robert Englund rocking the role that made him famous.
Watchmen (TNT, 8:00 PM EST)
Still controversial, still brilliant, and a reminder of why the new Superman film might not suck as bad as we fear.
Saturday
Fright Night (Showtime, 7:00 PM EST)
This forgotten remake from last summer retains much of the wit and appeal of the original film, while taking it in a refreshingly different direction.
Cars (ABC Family, 7:00 PM EST)
Once the runt of the Pixar litter, it gained some competition for the last-place title last summer and may have a few more before too many more years roll on.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Cartoon, 7:00 PM EST)
Hard to believe it’s been almost 25 years since this Robert Zemeckis classic graced our screens. It still works wonders.
1408 (FMC, 7:30 PM EST)
This Stephen King adaptation has seen a lot of replay lately. Not sure why.
Eight Legged Freaks (Syfy, 7:00 PM EST)
Oh David Arquette, why do you hurt us so?
Arachnoquake (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
The hardest part of Syfy original movies has got to be the title. After that, they pretty much write themselves. Example: an earthquake unleashes evil spiders. Go.
Wristcutters: A Love Story (Sundance, 10:00 PM EST)
This lovely, quirky little comedy details the lost souls who commit suicide, and find themselves in a world just like ours except everything is a little crappier. Well worth a look if you’re in the mood for something different.
War of the Worlds (TNT, 8:00 PM EST)
Steven Spielberg scores a powerful near-miss in this adaptation of the H.G. Wells classic.
Sherlock Holmes (TNT, 10:30 PM EST)
TNT follows it with the terrific take on the famous sleuth, with Robert Downey, Jr. rocking the house yet again as Holmes.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (USA, 8:30 PM EST)
The sequel isn’t going to be any better, is it?
Sunday
True Blood (HBO, 9:00 PM EST)
Roman has to decide whether Bill and Eric’s proposal is worth keeping them alive, while the search for Debbie Pelt gets a little too close for Sookie’s comfort.
Falling Skies (TNT, 9:00 PM EST)
The unit moves into new quarters, while Tom has to contend with the plots of his fellow berserkers.
My Babysitter’s a Vampire (Disney, 9:00 PM EST)
Any questions?
Avatar (FX, 7:00 PM EST)
It’s less impressive on the small screen, and you have to actually listen to the script.
Toy Story 3 (Starz, 7:15 PM EST)
The last great Pixar movie? Only time will tell.
Signs (Syfy, 6:30 PM EST)
This might be the last great Shyamalan movie as well.
The Mist (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
We’re ending the week on a downer this time. A great downer, but a downer nonetheless.
I would like to iterate my suggestion of Continuum on Showcase up here in Canada. New episodes are on at 9:00pm on Sunday. I know the episodes are on the Showcase.ca site. I don't know if they can be seen outside of Canada. If someone can let me know one way or another on here, that would be great. Otherwise you might have to wait until it hits Syfy to watch it. It's only a 10 episode season and they just aired episode 4.