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TV Wasteland: June Gloom

Summer series continue to ramp up this week.

By Rob Vaux     June 17, 2013
Source: Mania.com

 A comparatively quiet week this week, as summer shows settle into their routine and the networks by and large bow out. Here’s what’s coming the next seven days. 

 

Monday

Defiance (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
A deadly disease hits Defiance, forcing the Irathients to seal themselves up in the mines lest they catch it.
 
Warehouse 13 (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
A gated community gets hit with a series of vengeance killings, sending Bering and Latimer to check it out.
 
Teen Wolf (MTV, 10:00 PM EDT)
Scott and Derek need some help. Bet you’ll never guess where they get it.
 
King Kong (AMC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Peter Jackson spent his Lord of the Rings influence on rebooting the greatest giant monkey story ever, with results that still can’t eclipse the immortal original.
 
Red Eye (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EDT)
The Scarecrow runs a hapless flyer through the ringer in one of Wes Craven’s better efforts to date.
 
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (FX, 8:00 PM EDT)
Okay, I’ll say it: I really liked Liev Shreiber as Sabretooth.
 
Gone (Showtime, 8:25 PM EDT)
Amanda Seyfried dodges a serial killer in a seriously goofy would-be thriller.
 

Tuesday

Exit (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
This week’s collection of hapless victims include a pair of MMA fighters, a set of twins, a pair of computer programmers and two dance instructors.
 
The Bone Collector (Cinemax, 8:00 PM EDT)
Angelina Jolie helps Denzel Washington stop a serial killer… but the title is frankly too weird to get past.
 
2012 (FX, 8:00 PM EDT)
Look out Africa: here come the white people! (Trust me, in the context of the movie it makes perfect sense.)
 
The Dark Knight Rises (HBO, 8:00 PM EDT)
The textbook definition of “disappointing but still pretty good.” Repeats on Saturday at 10:00 PM EDT.
 
The Fugitive (IFC, 10:30 PM EDT)
Tommy Lee Jones chases Harrison Ford through Chicago, and It. Is. Awesome.
 
Brave (Starz, 7:25 PM EDT)
And Pixar won and Oscar for this… why exactly?
 

Wednesday

Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
The team heads to Little Rock, where a family grapples with a supposedly haunted bungalow.
 
Paranormal Witness (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
A trio of brothers tale about their childhood home and its possible status as a haunted house.
 
Looper (Starz, 8:00 PM EDT)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt can do no wrong these days. Case in point…
 
Robocop (BBC America, 8:00 PM EDT)
BBC America wins the Double-Feature of the Week award, starting with Peter Weller’s fantastic cybernetic law enforcer.
 
The Exorcist (BBC America, 10:00 PM EDT)
Not good enough, you say? How about the greatest horror movie ever made as a chaser?
 
The Shining (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Stanley Kubrick really pissed off Stephen King, but by all other accounts created a classic.
 
Deep Impact (Cinemax, 10:45 PM EDT)
I keep forgetting: does Elijah Wood buy it in this one or no?
 
 

Thursday

Hannibal (NBC, 10:00 PM EDT)
Will is framed for murder, leading to a possible escape and other forms of zaniness to prove his innocence.
 
Burn Notice (USA, 9:00 PM EDT)
Michael has to make a dangerous trade in Central America, prompting Sam and Jesse to head down with him to watch his back.
 
Wilfred (FX, 10:00 PM EDT)
The stoner comedy about the talking dog returns with Ryan seeking out Wilfred’s first owner.
 
Dawn of the Dead (Syfy, 7:00 PM EDT)
Zack Snyder seems to enjoy doing reboots, doesn’t he?
 
Resident Evil: Afterlife (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
Milla Jovovich knows where to hang her hat: anywhere near rampaging zombies.
 
Snow White and the Huntsman (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EDT)
Not what we’d call a winner, even with the gorgeous production design.
 
The Shawshank Redemption (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman deliver the best adaptation of a Stephen King story to date.
 
Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (Sundance, 6:30 PM EDT)
Forest Whitaker does pretty well as a modern-day hitman who lives by the ancient code of bushido.
 

Friday

Continuum (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
A new drug from the future hits the streets, prompting Kiera to hunt down the source.
 
Drive Angry (Showtime, 9:00 PM EDT)
This film gets props just for thanking Bill Murray and Punxsutawney Phil in the closing credits
 
Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Spike, 7:00 PM EDT and 9:30 PM EDT)
The Man with the Hat is in residence all weekend over on Spike. The first three films (sans Crystal Skull) repeat on Saturday starting at 3:30 PM EDT. Last Crusade and Crystal Skull run on Sunday starting at 6:00 PM EDT. 
 
The Dark Knight (TBS, 9:00 PM EDT)
Best superhero movie ever? You could make that case.
 
Zombieland (FX, 8:00 PM EDT and 10:00 PM EDT)
Like comedy with your undead apocalypse? These folks have got your hook-up.
 
Dark Shadows (HBO, 8:00 PM EDT)
Tim Burton may have just touched bottom here.
 
X2: X-Men United (BBC America, 9:00 PM EDT)
Appropriate that the second X-Men big-screen adventure is also the second best to date.
 
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (Cinemax, 8:20 PM EDT)
More Milla. And zombies. And the killing of the latter by the former.
 
Idiocracy (Comedy, 8:24 PM EDT)
Truly a harbinger of things to come.
 

Saturday

Sinbad (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
Sinbad loses the Providence on a gamble, forcing him to tell everyone about his curse. Not sure how that works, but I bet the fans can fill us in.
 
Primeval: New World (Syfy,  10:00 PM EDT)
Evan and Dylan head back in time on a deadly rescue mission. With dinosaurs!
 
Zero Hour (ABC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Drink it in folks; once this runs its course, there’s nothing left.
 
666 Park Avenue (ABC, 9:00 PM EDT)
Behold! Another canceled show begins its burn-off.
 
Die Another Day (Showtime, 6:45 PM EDT)
For those of you who find Moonraker too gritty and hard-core, Pierce Brosnan has a flat-out James Bond cartoon for you!
 
Independence Day (A&E, 8:00 PM EDT)
Heck, it’s close enough to the holiday to count.
 
The Hills Have Eyes and The Hills Have Eyes II (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT and 10:15 PM EDT)
This is the very good remake and its very bad sequel.
 
RED (TNT, 8:00 PM EDT)
Bruce Willis: not a man with whom one fucks. Repeats on Sunday at 7:45 PM EDT.
 

Sunday

True Blood (HBO, 9:00 PM EDT)
Bill keeps experimenting with his new powers, while Sookie and Jason find out more about their fae past.
 
Falling Skies (TNT, 10:00 PM EDT)
Tom gets to meet the leader of the friendly aliens, who we’re praying to God is also being played by Doug Jones.
 
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (BBC America, 6:00 PM EDT)
And… it’s the middle chapter all on its own again.
 
Silent Hill (IFC, 6:15 PM EDT)
IFC devotes the evening to a pair of truly shitty horror movies.
 
House of 1,000 Corpses (IFC, 9:00 PM EDT)
Yes, even this one. Especially this one.
 
The Amazing Spider-Man (Starz, 9:00 PM EDT)
It’s a solid film, but these reboots are starting to get old.
 
The Professional (Sundance, 8:15 PM EDT)
It’s never the wrong time for Luc Besson’s action thriller classic.
 
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (Syfy, 7:00 PM EDT)
Bill Nighy and Michael Sheen camp it up as only classically trained British actors can.
 
The Ruins (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
Not a bad little horror flick, if you can excuse some real wonkiness.
 

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

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karas1 6/17/2013 5:20:26 AM

Sinbad (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)

Sinbad loses the Providence on a gamble, forcing him to tell everyone about his curse. Not sure how that works, but I bet the fans can fill us in.

 

In the premier Sinbad engaged in a prize fight and the other fighter was killed.  Sinbad was delighted to win the purse but it turned out that the man he accidentally killed was the nephew of the city's ruler.  Oops.  The kid's father thirsted for vengance and killed Sinbad's brother right in front of him.  This pissed off Sinbad's mother who put a curse on him that he can't be on the same land for over 24 hours or this necklace will tighten and choke him to death.  This curse will be in force until Sinbad grows the hell up and starts taking responsibility for his actions.

lusiphur 6/17/2013 6:43:31 AM

 Not a whole lot going on, so it may be time to catch up on a couple of series I dvr'd in anticipation of bleak summer.  I'm still recording a few of the shows (more SyFy than anything else, which is strange but, I think, positive) like Defiance, WH13, Contiunuum, Sinbad, Burn Notice and Primeval: New World.  

@karas1 - it was actually his grandmother who cursed Sinbad, not his mother.  Dear ol' mom is the walking coma patient.  I'm sure there is a whopper of a back story there, probably caused by something Sinbad did.

fenngibbon 6/17/2013 7:21:29 AM

 The problem with Peter Jackson's King Kong?  Too.  Dang.  Long.

There's a reason why there's a saying that goes "Less is more."

 

That applies to Jack Black as well.

karas1 6/17/2013 8:10:06 AM

Jack Black didn't do a bad job.  The problem with the film was it spent too much time chasing people around with CGI critters on the island.  When I saw it in the theater I started to yawn and check my watch while dinosaurs and giant worms were devouring the sailors.  When dinosaurs get boring there is a real problem with the movie.

blankczech 6/17/2013 8:15:24 AM

 Rob, I thought your little blurb about "The Dark Knight," might stir up the Maniacs but when I scrolled down to the comments to witness the debate...there was nothing...it's early...maybe they aren't up yet.

Part of me agrees that the Dark Knight is the consummate comic book super hero movie...it's certainly the smartest and most mature.  It has all the elements of a good movie.  A great story, excellent direction and powerful acting.

Heath Ledger's psychotic Joker, while possessing no super powers is far more frightening than any super villain / monster.

My biggest complaint with the Dark Knight is that it doesn't look or feel like a comic book...it's too dark, too edgy and too humorless.  It's not fun to watch.  The Dark Knight  totally lacks the silly, light hearted, feel good qualities of The Avengers.  I question the merits of a comic book superhero movie, when you have to think twice about allowing a 10 year old to see it?

blankczech 6/17/2013 8:37:18 AM

 karas1  The only time I enjoyed Jackson's Kong was when he was tangling with dinosaurs on the island.  I thought his battle against a couple of big Carnivore's was epic (dinosaurs never bore me).  My problem with the flick occurred on the way to the island and after they left it.  When Kong went ice skating with his girlfriend, it was so sweet my teeth hurt...that's when i started to nod off.

DaForce1 6/17/2013 8:58:51 AM

 Wednesday is also the beginning of the end (again) for Futurama. The new and final season begins on Wednesday on Comedy Central.

millean 6/17/2013 11:14:48 AM

Come on Mania, fix your posting problems!  This is the second time today I've been unable to post something that I have no idea why it is being blocked.

millean 6/17/2013 11:15:25 AM

How in the hell have I missed the fact that SyFy has a new series called Sinbad?  This is the first I've heard of it.  Are we talking swash buckling, pirate wannabe Sinbad, or some random TV property with a character that just happened to be named Sinbad?  I'll have to do some research.  :)

I've been playing too much tennis, and watching too much basketball lately to keep up with my regular TV watching habits!

Krovven 6/17/2013 11:39:16 AM

 June Gloom?  Burn Notice, Falling Skies, True Blood and Copper all started new seasons this month. Seems like a pretty great month to me.

 

 

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