6 Comments | Add
Rate & Share:
Related Links:
Info:
TV Wasteland: Out Like a Lamb
March shows stay on top of things as Madness slowly builds By
Rob Vaux
March 07, 2010
Human Target in March's TV Wasteland
© Fox/Bob Trate
Late March and early April brings a number of shows back from hiatus, including FlashForward, V, and Stargate Universe. Until then, the remainder try to hold the line and keep us smiling. Let's get to it!
Monday
Chuck (NBC, 8:00 PM EST)
Chuck (Zachary Levi) is forced to sit out a dangerous assignment, which makes him cranky in the extreme.
24 (Fox, 9:00 PM EST)
The suicide bomber seems to be having trouble with his vest this week. Maybe he can ask special guest star Stephen Root--AKA Milton the Stapler Guy from Office Space--for help. (What Root is doing on 24 is anybody's guess, but it's bound to be interesting regardless.)
The Entity (FMC, 9:00 PM EST)
Anyone want to watch a young, hot Barbara Hershey get molested by an invisible demon? Fox Movies has got your hook-up tonight.
Tuesday
Lost (ABC, 9:00 PM EST)
Ben Linus (Michael Emerson) takes center stage this week, as one of his breathtaking number of lies and deceptions comes back to bite him in the ass. It probably won't be as richly satisfying as that time when Jack beat him like a rented mule, but it should be worth a look regardless.
Life After People (History, 10:00 PM EST)
Tonight's episode looks at underground structures such as mines and bunkers, and how they would deteriorate without us.
Throne of Blood and The Hidden Fortress (TCM, 7:30 PM EST and 9:30 PM EST)
Master director Akira Kurosawa helms two of the greatest films ever made; the first a retake on Macbeth set in feudal Japan, the second an epic samurai adventure which George Lucas used as inspiration for Star Wars. If you haven't seen them, you owe it to yourself to clear space on your TiVo. They really take the breath away.
Wednesday
Human Target (Fox 8:00 PM EST)
Chance (Mark Valley) returns from a brief hiatus with a case that takes him into the wilds of South America.
Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
New York's Fort Ticonderoga--whose grounds contain a number of unmarked graves--earns a visit from TAPS this week.
MonsterQuest (History, 9:00 PM EST)
West Virginia is apparently a haven for crimes against nature, such as an anthropomorphic lizard man reported in the area of Flatwoods.
Kill Bill, Vols. 1 and 2 (IFC 8:00 PM EST and 10:30 PM EST)
IFC was kind enough to run both parts back-to-back tonight, so you don't have to miss a minute of the katana-whacking action.
Thursday
Kung Fu Hustle (Spike, 7:00 PM EST)
Spike breaks up all its movies with commercials, but you may want to forgive them this one time in order to catch Stephen Chow's ingenious parody of kung fu movies.
The Curse (Syfy, 7:00 PM EST)
Syfy reruns their original movie about a small town in Kentucky with a dark past. Followed by two proven winners.
The Prestige (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Hugh Jackman gives the best performance of his career, matched by Christian Bale as his hated rival in this tale of two turn-of-the-century stage magicians and the lengths to which they go to one-up each other.
Sunshine (Syfy, 11:30 PM EST)
If you can forgiving the ending, Danny Boyle's sorely underrated 2007 sci-fi story delivers one of the more intelligent takes on the genre in recent years. Michelle Yeoh's in it too, and that's never a bad thing.
The Vampire Diaries and Supernatural are both reruns this week.
Friday
Caprica (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Joseph (Easi Morales) heads into the virtual world to find his daughter, while Zoe's (Alessandra Torresani) creepy romance with the Cylon designer starts to heat up.
Spartacus: Blood and Sand (Starz, 10:00 PM EST)
That skanky blonde chick whose husband bagged Spartacus (Andy Whitfield) finally catches on to the fact that he's not going to die in the arena and plots other ways to take him out of the picture.
The Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8:00 PM EST)
The ghost of a small child is trapped in a haunted house by evil spirits. Melinda (Jennifer Love Hewitt) steps in to lend a hand.
Medium (CBS, 9:00 PM EST)
A "prequel" episode covers Allison's (Patricia Arquette) wedding day, and the slow development of her psychic powers which she tries to acknowledge and accept.
Turner Classics' Monster Mash (TCM, 5:00 PM EST)
TCM is running an entire evening of Old Tyme Monster Movies: The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms at 5:00 PM EST, It Came From Beneath the Sea at 6:30 PM EST, The Monster That Challenged the World at 8:00 PM EST, and Them! at 9:30 PM EST. Take the phone off the hook and butter up some popcorn, because these babies are commercial free.
Batman: The Brave and The Bold and Star Wars: The Clone Wars are both reruns this week.
Saturday
Spring Break Shark Attack (Syfy, 7:00 PM EST)
Once again, Syfy has thoughtfully labeled its movie so that you can instantly tell whether you want to see it or not.
Dinoshark (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
See above. This one has the benefit of being brand new and starring that one guy who used to be on Six Feet Under. Followed by the no-doubt equally gripping Dinocroc at 11:00 PM EST.
Monsters vs. Aliens (HBO, 8:00 PM EST)
Though some found this 2009 hit too corporate--and though it was outpaced by a number of other films in a surprisingly strong year for animation--it remains a fun and upbeat exercise in 50s sci-fi silliness.
The Punisher (FX. 8:00 PM EST)
See if you can guess which crappy rendition of the Marvel Comics' staple this is. It'll be more fun than sitting through it, that much I promise.
Sunday
Ultraviolet (Syfy, 7:00 PM EST)
Okay, this 2006 would-be sci-fi epic--starring Milla Jovovich as someone's last hope for something or another--is forty kinds of goofy. But it's a really, really fun forty kinds of goofy, provided you don't let any of that pesky thinking get in the way.
Crank (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
Editing this film for basic cable really misses the point, doesn't it?
LOGIN
REGISTER
RSS
HOME
"skanky blonde?" Sure, she's evil, but...