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TV Wasteland: This Is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween!
Horror movies and scary episodes abound on All Hallows Eve By
Rob Vaux
October 25, 2009
Halloween dominates the TV Wasteland
© Bob Trate
Halloween is here and there's a huge plate of genre programming to cover, so let's get right to it!
Monday
Heroes (NBC, 9:00 PM EDT)
Matt (Greg Grunberg) rolls the dice on an effort to get rid of Sylar (Zachary Quinto) once and for all, while Claire undergoes a hazing ritual at college. (Best of luck with that one kids; the little girl? She don't break.)
Bloodlines: The Dracula Family Tree (History, 10:00 PM EDT)
To commemorate Halloween, the History Channel reruns a previous special tracing the roots of Vlad Tepes and the origins of the Dracula legend.
It's Alive! (IFC 8:00 PM EDT)
Not to be confused with the 1974 Larry Cohen cult horror film, this 1968 effort from Larry Buchanan (whose other efforts include the infamous Mars Needs Women) is played strictly for unintentional laughs. A farmer holds a prehistoric monster from the late Cheesy Papier Mache Era in a cave on his land, then searches for new victims to feed it.
13 Ghosts (AMC, 8:00 PM EDT)
This isn't the William Castle original, but the 2001 remake, which benefits immeasurably from a very cool house and thirteen well-developed spooks.
Halloween (AMC, 10:00 PM EDT)
TV Guide describes John Carpenter's masterpiece as a "thriller about a maniac," which is kind of like calling Hamlet a "play about a sad man."
Tuesday
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (ABC, 8:00 PM EDT)
I've said it before and it bears repeating: what the hell kind of grown-up hands out rocks on Halloween?!
The Universe (History, 9:00 PM EDT)
For those not in a horror mood this week, The Universe offers an all-new episode featuring quasars and pulsars.
Ghost Lab (Discovery, 10:00 PM EDT)
The Discovery Channel's ghost investigation show targets an inn which used to be a brothel and a tattoo parlor, presumably in search of particularly skanky supernatural emanations.
The Haunting (TCM, 9:00 PM EDT)
Don't mistake this for the incredibly foul Liam Neeson/Catherine Zeta-Jones version. It's director Robert Wise's 1960s adaptation of Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House, which ranks as one of the best haunted house movies ever made.
The Haunted Mansion (ABC Family, 8:00 PM EDT)
On the other end of the quality scale sits this ostensible effort to do for Disneyland's Haunted Mansion ride what Johnny Depp did for Pirates of the Caribbean. Watch it only if you need to be reminded why you stopped going to Eddie Murphy movies.
Wednesday
Eastwick (ABC, 10:00 PM EDT)
What better way to celebrate Halloween than with a good old-fashioned witch burning? And luckily for the citizens of Eastwick, they seem to have a bumper crop of witches to choose from.
Monsters Vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins From Outer Space (NBC, 8:00 PM EDT)
NBC assembles the entire high-end vocal cast in this 30-minute follow-up to the animated hit, including Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogan, Hugh Laurie and Will Arnett. The special is being rerun at 8:30 because NBC is just that desperate.
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (ABC, 8:00 PM EDT)
ABC is rerunning the Peanuts special tonight, even though it's much less desperate than NBC. And seriously, rocks?!
Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
Tonight's destination is a haunted estate in Manitou Springs, Colorado where a spectral woman-and-child duo are wreaking all manner of havoc.
Destination Truth (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
Romania handles the Gothic Horror end of things as the team goes hunting for werewolves there, while the jungles of Chile host a search for dinosaurs to fill the Rampaging Behemoth Run Amok quota.
The Real Wolfman (History, 9:00 PM EDT)
Yet another Halloween special appears on the History Channel, this one centered on stories of a werewolf preying on an 18th century French town. Modern criminologists return to the scene in an effort to get to the bottom of the legend.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT)
One of horror's true greats--the 1974 Tobe Hooper original--airs complete and uncut for your barbequing pleasure.
Eaten Alive (IFC, 9:30 PM EDT)
Continuing IFC's evening of Don't Ask What's In The Chili movies, this 1977 effort features a backwoods hotel owner who ensures that guests check in, but they don't check out. Tobe Hooper directed it too, though of course it can't match the power of Chain Saw.
House on Haunted Hill (AMC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Another remake of a William Castle original, this one featuring a slumming Geoffrey Rush and an always fabulous Famke Janssen. It won't stand in the annals of horror immortality, but it's quite a gas for those with lowered expectations. Followed by the direct-to-video sequel (which is much less of a gas) at 10:00 PM EDT.
Thursday
FlashForward (ABC, 8:00 PM EDT)
So just who were those Asian guys who tried to kill everyone last episode? And are they connected in any way to Dominic Monaghan (who officially joins the cast tonight)? Benford (Joseph Fiennes) and Noh (John Cho) go looking for some answers.
The Vampire Diaries (The CW, 8:00 PM EDT)
Vicki (Kayla Ewell) loses control of her urges, which turns the school's fake haunted house into something much scarier… or you know, as scary as a show like this is allowed to get.
Supernatural (The CW, 9:00 PM EDT)
There's nothing like casual bets over a poker game… especially when the other player is a powerful witch. Let's hope Dean (Jensen Ackles) keeps his tells well-hidden.
Jeepers Creepers (IFC, 8:25 PM EDT)
Silly title aside, this 2001 horror movie about a pair of Hansel and Gretel stand-ins who run into a very scary monster in the middle of a road trip makes for a fun Halloween diversion.
The Skeleton Key (Syfy, 7:00 PM EDT)
Rod Serling made those twist endings look so easy, didn't he? Tune in to this bit of silliness to see how badly you can screw one up.
Final Destination 2 (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
The first one wasn't that good and the second doesn't improve matters unless you enjoy figuring out which Rube Goldberg contraption the Grim Reaper is going to throw at the attractive cast next.
Fringe is off tonight because of the World Series. (And while my plucky little Angels are hanging in there as of this writing, it looks like the Yankees may be going for their 27th championship. Now that's scary.)
Friday
Smallville (The CW, 8:00 PM EDT)
This week's heroic cameo is Speedy (Elisen Gatien), who Oliver (Justin Hartley) tries to help after an encounter on the streets. At the rate they're going through DC Universe characters, we're going to be left with nothing but Zan and Jayna before too long. Oh, wait…
Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8:00 PM EDT)
CBS has taken inspiration from classic bits of horror… starting with Ghost Whisperer, which pits Melinda (Jennifer Love-Hewitt) against Washington Irving's Headless Horseman.
Medium (CBS, 9:00 PM EDT)
Allison (Patricia Arquette) dreams that she's a character in Night of the Living Dead, providing insight which could help her solve a murder in the waking world.
Stargate Universe (Syfy, 9:00 PM EDT)
The ship has power again (yay!) but the crew is running out of water (boo!), prompting a search for fresh supplies on a frozen planet.
Sanctuary (Syfy, 10:00 PM EDT)
Why wouldn't an Abnormal don a set of tights and attempt to save the innocent from evil-doers everywhere? The team runs into one who apparently needs to polish his technique before that big Justice League audition.
Psycho (TCM, 9:00 PM EDT)
The undisputed king of the horror movie hill reasserts its claim to the throne tonight on TCM.
Jeepers Creepers 2 (IFC, 7:15 PM EDT)
IFC airs a not-at-all bad follow-up to the pretty darn good 2001 horror flick, boosted by the very cool titular monster.
Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem (HBO, 8:00 PM EDT)
I'm told there's a pretty cool monster in this film too, but I can't say for sure because EVERY SCENE WAS LIT BY A FREAKING BLIND MAN. The rest of it is pretty stinky as well.
Young Frankenstein (AMC, 8:00 PM EDT)
Those interested in a lighter film for Halloween have Mel Brooks's comedy classic to turn to, followed by the equally hilarious Amityville Horror at 10:30 PM EDT.
Batman: The Brave and the Bold, Iron Man: Armored Adventures and Star Wars: Clone Wars are off this week. Word on whether Dollhouse will air is mixed. Set your DVR to 9:00 PM EDT on Fox if you want to be sure.
Saturday
Ginger Snaps (IFC, 8:00 PM EDT)
IFC arranges another showing of the brilliant Canadian werewolf movie to celebrate Halloween.
Night of the Living Dead (AMC 6:00 PM EDT)
AMC is running George A. Romero's classic all evening, starting at 6:00 PM and continuing into the wee hours of the morning.
The Body Snatcher (TCM, 8:15 PM EDT)
For those interested in the Olde Tyme horror, TCM offers this 1945 team-up of two genre greats--Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi--based on a Robert Louis Stevenson story.
Sunday
Dexter (Showtime, 9:00 PM EDT)
The investigation into the Trinity Killer continues, keeping Dexter (Michael C. Hall) on his toes even as he receives unexpected aid in his difficulties with Rita (Julie Benz).
V (Syfy, 1:00 PM EDT)
With the reimagined version premiering next week, Syfy takes the opportunity to air the original miniseries from the 1980s, along with its follow-up, V: The Final Battle. We'll have complete coverage of the new series in the next column. See you then!
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And the football game ended at 07:00 like it was supposed to. I'm happy.