Video This Week: December 11th

By: John Thonen
Date: Tuesday, December 11, 2001

VIDEO NEWS

January 22^nd will bring Fox's release of VENOMOUS, the latest in the ongoing horde of snake and lizard movies unleashed by the box office hit ANACONDA. This latest snake-tacular stars Treat Williams and Mary Page Keller under the direction of the pseudonymous Ed Raymond, who will offer a commentary track on the film's Special Edition DVD. Also included will be stills and a behind-the-scenes look at working with the film's rattlesnakes. And, watch Cinescape.com for a talk with director Raymond on the film's production and why it doesn't carry his name in the credits.

JURASSIC PARK III hits stores today on VHS and DVD, and the DVD package has an unusual offer within. It seems that many of the first tapes sold will feature a certificate for a free, disposable cell phone. You call in and they send you the phone, which is good only for outgoing calls and whose battery will only last 6 months, or a total of 60 minutes of calls. If you'll recall, a cell phone plays a major part in the film and thus, apparently spawned this promotion. The phone has no keypad - numbers are dialed by dictating them into the earpiece/microphone. The phones normally sell for about $30.00 and users of the JPIII version will get an operator greeting of "Welcome to Jurassic Park" before each call is placed.

THIS WEEK'S NEW RELEASES

AMAZONS AND GLADIATORS is the latest, and quite likely the best, of the clones of the mega-hit GLADIATOR. The main strength of this generically titled and admittedly low budget effort lies in its cast. Patrick Bergin is a perfect choice to play corrupt and imperious Roman leader Crassius, as is Jennifer Rubin as his consort. The real standout though is Richard Norton as the heroic Lucius. Norton is one of the few action movie actors who are genuine martial arts experts and, of that select few, one of the very limited group who are also capable performers. With Norton involved in the film's numerous well-staged gladiator fight scenes, the picture rises above its budgetary limitations to deliver a solid piece of period-based entertainment.

THE CONVENT is [IMG4R]one of the more pleasant surprises of the year. While undeniably very low budget, director Mike Mendez manages to fairly successfully pull off the difficult task of creating a spoof/homage of '80s style horror films while also creating a reasonably decent film of that very type. Utilizing a slasher format, comic book color schemes and a kick-ass performance by Adrienne Barbeau as a leatherjacket clad killer of the undead, Mendez manages to make one overlook the sub-par makeup effects and uneven acting. While not on a level with films like THE EVIL DEAD, this one clearly emulates that style of filmmaking and has its heart in the right place namely ripped from one's chest and held in the clawed hands of a demon nun from Hell.

CREMAINS is a recent release from E.I. Cinema who specialize in what I like to call "outlaw" movies. These are virtually no-budget productions made by amateurs and semi-pros who want to make a movie and, thanks to the democratizing of film production through video and computers, are able to pull it off. This one is an anthology related by a mortician who is being quizzed by a group of his peers regarding improprieties in his handling of cremations. While overlong, unevenly acted and featuring some often very bad sound, this is a pretty good example of what a little imagination, some genuine passion for a genre and a dearth of money can do. It's a long way from great, but I'd gladly watch it a dozen more times before I'd sit through VALENTINE again.

DRUIDS could have managed what AMAZONS AND GLADIATORS did, but this variation on BRAVEHEART is so badly cast, dismally acted and boringly paced that one is amazed that it's even getting released. Obviously the producers recognized what a turkey they had on their hands: instead of the expected epic score, they save what they could by having somebody on a Casio keyboard twiddle about a bit, and to avoid digital effects to make their battle sequences seem larger, they instead just repeat sequences, sometimes flipping the film to reverse the movement so a sequence seems new. I've long ago given up on seeing Christopher Lambert in another good movie, but I was surprised to see Klaus Maria Brandauer and Max Von Sydow wasting their time and talents in this lemon.

THE FOLLOWING is an early black and white effort of MEMENTO director Christopher Nolan. This one involves a young writer who tries to break his writer's block by indulging in following people he sees on the street, hoping something about one of them will spark his own imagination. Instead, he becomes obsessed with one of the targets of his voyeuristic pastime. Nolan here was clearly making his first, tentative steps on the ground he walked so confidently in MEMENTO, as the flashback structure of FOLLOWING plays with the viewer's perception in a similar way to what the director did in his sophomore effort. While relatively brief at 70 minutes, this is a crisp, absorbing and impressive piece of work that makes it clear that Nolan is unlikely to be a one-hit-wonder.

JURASSIC PARK III is

about as mindless a piece of cinematic fluff as you're likely to see. It's also pretty harmless and reasonably fun. Sam Neill is lured back to the title location (actually a neighboring island we never knew about before) and he and some other second-tier names and faceless victims join him to run from the dinosaurs. We see a couple of new beasties, and some nice stuff with the dinos we've previously seen. There is certain to be a fourth entry in the series, and it probably won't be any better or any worse. If you like dinosaurs, you'll like this. If you don't, it's still better than Roland Emmerich's GODZILLA.

MUMMY RAIDER wasn't available for preview, and I'm not complaining. There is obviously a market for Seduction Cinema releases such as this one raging-hormone-imprisoned young boys who can't rent a porn tape yet, so they'll settle for a lot of T&A and some mild lesbian sex. That's the formula for all the Seduction Cinema line, and I'm sure MUMMY RAIDER is no exception. For the record, this one involves a neo-Nazi intent on delivering the world into the hands of the 4^th Reich, and planning to do it with a resurrected mummy as her weapon. But little does she know that her actions have roused the ire of a Lara Croft-like heroine who will stop the villainess at any cost, even that of some nipple-licking and mock muff-diving and a little French kissing with a girl. Now that's dedication.

RUSH HOUR 2 was, like its predecessor, a big hit for Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. The buddy-cop/fish-out-of-water hybrid comedy turned the tables on the first film's premise by switching the action from America to Hong Kong where this time it's Tucker's turn to not fit in. The "Infinfilm" DVD from New Line is packed to the gills with extras.

THE SCORE sees Robert De Niro playing an aging criminal who, along with an even more aging Marlon Brando and a somewhat less aging Edward Norton, makes a bid for one last "score." The generational triumvirate of actors is interesting, and is, in fact, the best reason to check out this film on disc if you missed it in theaters.

EASTER EGG HUNT

In order

to lure mindless buyers into paying money for a movie they already have, Warner Home Video dressed THE MATRIX REVISITED up pretty nicely, including some hidden goodies. From the main menu, select "Go Further," then from the new menu that appears, press "Right," which should bring up the image of the woman in red from Neo's training sequence. Now, press "Enter" and you'll be treated to a short (40 second) clip about that character. Now, press the "Right" key a second time to be offered an image of Agent Smith. Press "Enter" now and be treated to a sort clip (90 seconds) on an injury actor Hugo Weaving suffered during production.

COMING ATTRACTIONS

Next week, the return of Argento, the ultimate in "killer" reality TV programs, Obi Wan sings and a big, meat-eating monster - and I'm not talking about Dom DeLuise.

Vidiocy is our weekly Video & DVD column.