Video This Week: January 8th

By: John Thonen
Date: Tuesday, January 08, 2002

VIDEO NEWS

Before Ivan Reitman's EVOLUTION opened this past summer, expectations for the film were extraordinarily high. Action figure toys were licensed and in production, as was an animated TV series. Most amazingly, David Duchovny was even more arrogant than usual, displaying his most cocky "I don't need X-FILES, they need me" attitude to date. Now, after the film opened to poor reviews and weak box office, the toys are already being clearance priced and EVOLUTION: THE ANIMATED MOVIE is heading for video stores on January 29^th. Assembled from episodes of the Fox TV show ALIENATORS: EVOLUTION CONTINUES, both the series and movie will be promoted in Taco Hell, I mean Bell, restaurants in an attempt to get some kind of meager return on the considerable investment in Reitman's disaster.

There's a new DVD site on the web which, while still in its infancy, seems to offer a good deal of promise. DVDWOLF.COM offers news, reviews, newsletters, mini-biographies and articles on a wide range of films, actors and filmmakers. Their B movie section features bios on Lloyd Kaufman (of Troma), Brinke Stevens and Vidiocy buddy David DeCoteau, as well as an article on blaxploitation. There's also an interview with cult actress Barbara Leigh, probably still best known as VAMPIRELLA on the cover of many old issues of Warren Comics magazine of the same name, and as the announced star of a never filmed movie series based on the character. If they can maintain their initial promise, DVDWOLF.COM could prove one of the best DVD sites on the web.

NOTABLE NEW RELEASES

2069: A SEXY ODYSSEY is part of Seduction Cinema's "Retro" line, which means it's an old movie they're re-releasing. Sporting a pretty cool new cover, this is a 1974 tale of Venusian beauties visiting earth in an intergalactic search for fresh seed - and folks, I ain't talking about product from the Burpee Seed Catalog. This Swedish, simulated sex, sci-fi sinema item was considered fairly raunchy in its day, but it's harmless enough stuff today. The girls are attractive, there are some O.K. sets and some pretty sexy costumes along with a few genuine laughs. If softcore sex featuring women who are in their 50s today, but looked good in '74, is what floats your intergalactic missile, you could do worse.

GANGLAND is something of a throwback to the early '90s when a sub-genre I then labeled "Kung Fu-ture" movies was briefly popular on video. These were films which took place in an unpleasant, sometimes apocalyptic, near-future yet which, instead of lasers, relied on martial arts for their almost constant action sequences. This film features a quartet of thespically challenged performances who do have some screen charisma and have individually appeared in many martial arts films and even a few of the "Kung Fu-ture" variety. This time around, Costas Mandylor (TV's MARTIAL LAW), Sasha Mitchell (CLASS OF 1999 II: THE SUBSTITUTE), Kathleen Kinmont (ex of Lorenzo Lamas, and his co-star in a number of low rent, martial arts epics) and Vincent Klyn (Van Damme's nemesis in CYBORG) are out to save mankind from a deadly plague which a rather unlikely Tim Thomerson apparently has the cure for. There's lots of fight scenes in decrepit, seemingly war-ravaged parts of L.A. but these aren't fancy sets or impressive sets. It's just how much of the city look these days. It's all watchable enough if you've been missing these kinds of things.

JEEPERS CREEPERS is

a rather simple and implausible teens and terror tale which somehow becomes quite effective in the hands of a talented craftsman and a strong cast. Whatever his failings as a human being, convicted child molester Victor Salva is a highly capable director who manages to deliver suspense, horror, nervous laughs and even some emotional content in what is, ultimately, just a "monster chasing the main characters" story. Neat makeup on the monster, brief, but effective special effects and a relentless pace involving characters we actually care about make this one a minor classic and the first worthwhile teens and terror tale in years to have not been directed by Wes Craven. The DVD release features "behind-the-scenes" footage, deleted sequences, alternate opening and ending sequences and a director's commentary.

M*A*S*H is,

in many ways, a film that you just had to see when it was first released in 1970. Nothing like director Robert Altman's exercise in lunacy, anarchy, satire and anti-war sentiment had ever been seen before, and the experience was illuminating to say the least. Today, it remains an amusing film, bolstered by some fabulous performances and a crazed structure, but the edge that made it a masterpiece is lost to anyone who didn't experience Vietnam and the 1960s in general. An inarguable masterpiece, but not a timeless one.

M*A*S*H: The First Season begins a gradual rollout on DVD of the beloved TV series from the '70s and early '80s. The M*A*S*H concept first found success as a novel, then as a film and later as this hugely popular TV series. While characters, location and basic structure remained the same in all three incarnations, each is actually very different from the other. The series tempered the lunacy of the movie, making its characters far more likable and identifiable for the audience, but it also made the anti-war statements more pointed. It's an amazing concept that can succeed so well in three greatly different mediums, but the series is, in its own way, as good as the film or novel, and it has stood the test of time better than Robert Altman's movie simply by virtue of its own basic humanity.

MUMMY RAIDER was erroneously listed as a new release a few weeks ago. It actually hits the shelves today, for any of you that are waiting for it. When I mentioned it earlier I griped about not getting a screener. Now I've got one, and I can gripe about the movie. Actually, it's not a movie, more of a featurette. Seduction Cinema apparently blew their budget on some cheesy action sequences, so the whole thing is over about the time you think it's going to start. It takes almost as long to read the description on the box as the actual movie. This one has pretty Misty Mundae (where do they get these names?) as a sort of Lara Croft, a hokey looking mummy, the de rigueur lesbo scene and, well, that's about it. There's another featurette included, also starring Ms. Mundae, and some outtakes to round out the tape. As usual with Seduction Cinema product, you either put up with a crappy movie to see the babes, or you don't. Your call.

NIGHT DIVIDES THE DAY is a shot-on-video feature from director Jeff Burton, who seems to be a capable craftsman technically everything is fine but the film itself is totally derivative and equally dull. Slightly better are two shorts by Burton, which are also included. While neither has any originality to them, they are well made and the shorter running time keeps them from being overly dull. Burton might have the makings of a good filmmaker, but he's going to need better scripts if that's ever to happen.

OCEAN'S 11 was

originally supposed to hit video around the time the George Clooney remake hit theaters, but it was delayed. While the movie itself is a great opportunity to see the classic "Rat Pack" together, it's really not much of a film to have earned the reputation it has. The film makes it solely on the charms of its performers and on one of the great twist endings in the history of pop cinema. The recent remake is basically a totally different film, and a far better one. But it can't match that ending.

PROPHECY actually billed itself as "The Horror Movie" when originally released in 1979. Those ads should have read "The Horrible Movie" as this adaptation of David Seltzer's excellent ecological horror novel is one of the worst films to have been made by a well-respected director, John Frankenheimer in this case. There is a great sequence when the film's mutant bear created by pollution from a logging operation attacks a family of campers at night, but little else works and the effects used to realize this Yogi Bear gone wrong are simply abysmal.

ROBIN AND [IMG5L]THE 7 HOODS is another "Rat Pack" item from the early '60s and a much more enjoyable film than the stars' better remembered OCEAN'S 11. This one finds Sinatra, Martin and Davis paired with Bing Crosby and Peter Falk in a musical about Chicago mobsters who constantly outfox everybody, but end up being conned themselves into helping out an orphanage. Good music and dance numbers and a sappy plot make this fun for fans of the ultimate hipsters.

SECONDS makes an excellent counterpoint to the above listed PROPHECY, as that one is the worst film of a notable director, and this one is possibly his best. This tale of a middle-aged businessman who contracts with a secret organization for a chance at a second life is one of the great films of the '60s, a classic of cinematic paranoia and easily the best work ever done by its star, Rock Hudson. Shot in a stark and unnerving black and white by the great James Wong Howe, the film's themes resonate even stronger today than in 1966. One of Frankenheimer's brilliant moves in the film was to cast it with very average looking character actor types, making the incredibly handsome Hudson truly stand out as different from all those around him. This is a brilliant film worthy of far more than I can say here. Check it out.

SCARE THEIR PANTS OFF / SATAN'S BED is a double feature release from Image, neither of which is really worth seeing. The first one is a kidnapping and rape tale, what used to be called a "roughie" in the exploitation trade. Overall, it's pretty dull, and fails to be erotic or outrageous or even offensive. Equally dull is SATAN'S BED, but this one does have the bonus of starring a young pre-John Lennon Yoko Ono, as well as being directed by Michael Findlay, the highly esteemed purveyor of the likes of SNUFF and a few other exploitation titles so seriously bent that you feel like taking a shower after watching them.

A SCREAM IN THE STREETS is also pretty rude exploitation material, but it has a patina of reality that makes it uncomfortably effective. This one involves a pair of cops in L.A. who get involved in a world of illicit sex and fetishism, a sadist and a transvestite killer. Disney this ain't. At a number of points in the film, one gets the uncanny feeling that the people we are watching aren't so much actors as degenerates themselves, merely playing out thinly veiled depictions of their own sad lives. This is not a pleasant film, but it's probably more true to the world it depicts than films like Paul Schrader's HARDCORE.

EASTER EGG HUNT

One of my favorite DVD releases of the past year, KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE, has an enjoyable hidden goodie for we Klown lovers. If you let the main menu repeat for several minutes, a special Easter egg menu pops up offering a choice between the two Easter eggs. The first one is a short outtake of a made-for-TV dubbing session where they are trying to cover up officer Moonie's "Holy Shit" exclamation. The second item, titled "Klown Auditions," is footage from the audition sessions for the Killer Klown roles.

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