Home Video This Week: Nov. 13th

By: John Thonen
Date: Tuesday, November 13, 2001

VIDEO NEWS

Direct-to-video (DTV) sequels to modestly successful theatrical releases are all the rage these days, and there're more on the horizon. Director Patrick Lussier will shuffle off to Romania soon to shoot back-to-back sequels to his DRACULA 2000, the first of which is to be titled DRACULA: RESURRECTION. No word yet on any returning cast members. Meanwhile, Disney will try to launch a new DTV franchise with INSPECTOR GADGET 2, which will feature no returning cast members and an evil, female, gadget-bedecked adversary for the Inspector. Disney will also be offering DUMBO 2, CINDERELLA 2 and HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME 2. The HELLRAISER series will likely thrill no one with yet another entry, HELLSEEKER. Doug (available for conventions) Bradley will return again as Pinhead. Heading ever further down the economic ladder, Full Moon will try to revive their TRANCERS series with TRANCERS 7, but they'll reportedly be doing it without series star Tim Thomerson. Instead, the time traveling mind of Jack Deth will inhabit a woman's body and take her on a Lara Croft-styled adventure. Last, and likely least, the folks over at EI Seduction Cinema will try to launch their own series of Lara Croft-styled rip-offs with a T&A spectacular that attempts to ride the coattails of two big budget hits - MUMMY RAIDER.

THIS WEEK'S NEW RELEASES

BLACK CAT / FAT BLACK PUSSYCAT is an odd

pairing of two obscure features with similar names (and little else in common) on a double feature DVD from Image. The first title may well appeal to Poe fans (the writer, not the singer) as it's one of the more faithful adaptations of that writer's classic short story. It's also badly paced and pointlessly gory but film buffs may get a kick out of the early appearances of future character actor stars Hector Elizondo, Geoffrey Lewis and Leonard Frey. The second title should have fans of '60s sexploitation salivating, and others scratching their heads as they watch this curio of the beat culture wherein a cop investigates a murder in Greenwich Village. Image spices up the package with deleted scenes from both films, a collection of "cat" movie trailers and even some footage of a stripper known as "The Cat Girl."

THE COVEN was unavailable for preview from Brain Damage Films (gee, could it have something to do with my comments about their GRAVE VENGEANCE and HELLINGER?), so I'll have to withhold comments for the moment other than to say it sounds like another THE CRAFT clone and stars the cute, but talentless, Tanya Dempsey.

JEWEL BEM: HUNTER LIME is another bizarrely titled anime, this one involving a parallel world inhabited by creatures known as BEMs who sometimes escape into our world to inhabit everyday objects. Here to save mankind is Lime, a hot-looking babe with the intelligence of a toaster but a good heart. Sounds like the perfect woman if you ask me.

OSMOSIS JONES is such

a wonderful idea that it's a shame that half the movie hits the target and the other half seems unaware there is a target. The animated portion of the film depicting a brave white blood cell as it battles it out with an evil virus is a hoot. With clever animation, great vocal talent and lots of laughs, the movie is worth sitting through just for these sequences. Unfortunately, the live-action part of the film, starring Bill Murray as a zookeeper with horrendous eating habits and even worse personal hygiene, just isn't funny. In fact, it's more than a little irritating.

SHATTERDEAD stands, nearly ten years after its release, as the pinnacle of the "Outlaw Movie" phenomenon. I refer to the still continuing trend of non-professionals making feature films on zero budgets, utilizing friends and family as cast and crew. Director/writer Scooter McRae fashioned a different kind of zombie film and mixed it with surreal imagery and large doses of gore and demented sex to create a movie that is hard to forget. Well worth seeking out for the adventurous among you.

TOMB RAIDER is a film

that leaves me at a loss for words. I mean, I can't use words like great, fabulous, exciting or any other positive adjectives, as they just don't apply. Yet, boring, soulless, stupid and insipid aren't quite strong enough to use either. This is a film that is almost anti-cinema, yet it seemed to have so much going for it. Star Angelina Jolie was spot-on, letter-perfect casting; having her real-life father, Jon Voight, play her reel-life father seemed inspired; the film had a huge budget and international locations. How in God's name could they "F" it up so badly? Jolie has said she won't do another Lara Croft film until she is satisfied with the script, so we can only hope that we may yet see a good film made from this concept. In the meantime, I'd rather watch the video game than see this again.

EASTER EGG HUNT

The fabulous DVD REVIEW site once again offers news of an exciting hidden goodie, this time on the recently released BEASTMASTER DVD Special Edition. Starting at the "Main Menu," go to the "Extras" submenu and then press "Main Menu" and the "Right" arrow button. This will highlight a circle and if you then press "Enter" the circle will turn into a lizard's eye and take you to some alternate takes on scenes from the movie, most of which center around Tanya Roberts' celebrated topless sequence.

PREVIEWS OF COMING ATTRACTIONS

It's unwelcome guests week, where we'll grapple with the residents of Wonderland and the angry Red Planet, as well as morons from space, forgotten people and strange invaders.

Vidiocy is our weekly Video & DVD column.