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The WB, Me, And The Prince Of Tides

9/7/2010 12:56:03 PM permalink

...and they shouted out loud, to the roar of the crowd: "same old story, more dollars than sense"...

So we all know that at commercially ideal times, the prices come down to take advantage of current trends to further cash in on modern times in an effort to further bleed the consumer when he\she's already down to their final two pints and looking for a reason to give it up again to live again.

"Smallville" and the WB are the main culprits this time, and I'm the empty body they sucked dry as of this morning. The latest season is on DVD and Blu-Ray, but since I am behind the times in the aspects of previously released installments, I'm the fish hooked upon the chance to spend twenty dollars in order to catch up on what I didn't get to see.

I own seasons one and two on DVD, and after sensing the wriggle of season eight on Blu-Ray for just twenty-five bucks earlier this year, well let's just say I'm an easy fish to catch. And after having the chance to walk the aisles of Best Buy this morning, I found the third and fourth seasons on DVD for just twenty bucks a piece, so the phrase of the day is "Let the bleeding commence."

But I looked down and happened to see an irregularity among the collections: upon the packaging for season four was a sticker proclaiming the pilot episode of "Aquaman" was included.

You may remember this marketing gimmick from a few years back. Back then I'd hoped to get a hold on such a purchase and experience the glow of a double whammy done well.

Now I know I'm an idiot...

Here's the thing: I stepped in my front door, bouncing a bit with joy seeing as how I'm finally getting to fill in the blanks for "Smallville" and as soon as I open it up, the first and third plastic holders fall off the packaging.

Strike One.

The fact that the plastic was cheap was annoying, but I could work around that. And I could very likely fix the fallen pieces with a dab of super glue. So preparations were made and I spent the remainder of the morning applying this god awful glue to the packaging, the plastic, and, somehow, my fingers.

I let it set. And set. And set. I opened it up...and it fell apart again.

Strike Two.

After messing with it for an extended amount of time, I sadly realized that even super glue wouldn't be very super in this fix. Where are you, Tom Welling, in my desperate hour of need?

I've now sworn to find X many slimline replacement cases to put all six discs in. I just hope I can, they seem to have gone the way of the dinosaur, but I'm resourceful when it comes to finding this type of necessities.

...now I realize who killed the prince of tides, how can you tell how it used to be when there's nothing left to see...

The only good things (if there are any) that comes out of this is I did manage to get the "Aquaman" pilot. But even this came with a hitch or two.

I don't know how many of you were able to see a copy of it, and I'm not prepared to do a proper review of it right at this moment, but the fact that it was obviously filmed in the essentially standard widescreen presentation but chopped off on both sides for the promotional DVD is something that just further kicked me down.

Justin Hartley, blond pretty boy extraordinaire, had the title role before he was shuffled back to Metropolis. Watching just forty minutes (or thereabouts) told me this could easily have been a modern day "Baywatch" if they'd executed it correctly. I don't necessarily know if the "Baywatch" comparison is fair or not, and frankly I don't understand how said lifeguard show stayed on television for as long as it did, but I'm betting "Aquaman" could've surpassed it creatively.

It also could easily have been a laughingstock.

But there certainly was something ineffable there. Or maybe it's appealing to my Parrot Head instincts. I'm not entirely sure which yet.

I would've given it a full season to at least see where it could've gone.

Strike Three. You're Out.

But Hartley's on "Smallville," the WB is shoving my cash down their pants, and I'm stuck here trying to decided if I should give in to my obsessive ways and buy a new copy of season four since I literally had to throw away the previous collection's packaging  (I did save the discs and the inlay book) or just abandon all hope ye who purchase things with the WB logo on it.

Or, if I'm really lucky, seasons one through four will be reissued for Blu-Ray and we won't have these packaging issues again...

PS - If anyone's wondering, the above quotes come from "The Prince of Tides" available on Jimmy Buffett's Hot Water album.

Tags: smallvile aquaman wb dvd


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