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The Whacky World of Celebs

By Jarrod Sarafin     March 24, 2007


Elisha Cuthbert
© N/A

Well, there are always celebrities and Hollywood properties excelling at making gossip fodder of themselves and this week is no different. This week, we have a Judge smoking pot in idiotic places, Dukes of Hazzard actors getting snubbed from singing (oh dear), Pamela Anderson saying “No” to sex (what?!?) & Rosie O’Donnell is still crazy. 

In other words, all is right in the whacky world of Celebrity Ville.  
 
 
 

Anna Nicole case Judge driven to smoking pot: 

A Florida judges who weighed in on issues concerning both the paternity of Smith's daughter, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern, and custody over the late Playboy model's remains, was busted Sunday for marijuana possession after several police officers spotted him smoking a joint in a public park.  

A patrol unit was called to the scene, where officers performed a field test and determined that Judge Lawrence Korda was indeed sitting there smoking a joint. I’m sure much to the officer’s surprise. Hah.  

Seriously, what the hell was this guy thinking? You’re a judge and you’re sitting there on a bench in a public park smoking pot? Why not just wear a billboard around your neck with the words “Hey, I’m an idiot and I want to get caught!” in bright flashing neon letters. 
 
 

Husband & Wife are suing Heroes creators for stealing their ideas: 

A husband-and-wife team of artists have sued NBC Universal and the creators of Heroes for allegedly stealing the artist-who-paints-the-future concept from a short story they created several years ago. They also published this concept in a painting series and in a short film.  

In their lawsuit, filed Friday in U.S. District Court, New Yorkers Clifton Mallery and spouse Amnau Karam Eele have accused two people who identified themselves as writers from the NBC procedural Crossing Jordan of taking copies of the couple's work from a 2005 exhibition at NYC's Hunter College. 

NBC is obviously standing firm behind the Heroes creators in this case: 

“We intend to defend [the lawsuit] vigorously and expect to prevail," NBC said in a statement. 

Or as I like to think of it, outlast them in court costs.  

As a Heroes fan, I know where I stand here.I remember Emerson Appliances suing them last fall when an appliance of theirs ate Claire’s finger off in a show. So, I know where I stand over these type of lawsuits. With whomever wins, of course. What the hell though? A network show stealing ideas from another story concept? Pfffft, never!  
 

Ohio objects to a concert performance by Dukes of Hazzard actors: 

I nearly spit out the tasty beverage I was tasting all over my computer while coming across this story, folks.

Apparently, an Ohio orchestra was set to have a concert event on July 14 featuring Tom Wopat and John Schneider (the original Bo & Duke boys from the Dukes of Hazzard series) as lead singers. The event was cancelled after Cincy residents objected because of the racial overtones of the “good ole boys” themed show.  

Former Georgia congressman Ben Jones (who played Cooter on the show) is peeved about the decision to cancel the show. He characterizes the situation as this: 

“This is a dangerous affront to the rights of performing artists and their audiences, and the worst example of political correctness I've ever heard of.”—Ben Jones, former Georgia congressman. 

Apparently the orchestra Cincinnati Pops have performed before with the two ‘singers’ before in the past but they issued this statement amidst the protests. 

In the end, we decided that some of the messages conveyed in the program are not consistent with the efforts of the Pops to reach out to all members of our community," the statement read. An orchestra spokeswoman added that the show had never been officially announced to the public 

Former good ole boy John Schneider had this to say about the cancellation… 

“I find it sad and depressing that in this day and age, someone could be as misinformed and narrow-minded as this," Schneider said in a statement Friday. "If you want to know what kind of guy I am…go and see my work. Unless, of course, someone has denied me the right to do so."   

After outsmarting Boss Hogg for the last time, Schneider had a handful of country-music hits in the 1980s, including "I've Been Around Enough to Know" and "Country Girls," and he has recorded 11 albums.    

Okay.  

First, racial overtones in Dukes of Hazard? No, never. The people who set up the concert in the first place are “surprised” by protestors? Give me a break, concert promoters. 

Second, there is a difference between an actor and a show he performed in. If we go by the logic of demonizing a person from public life because of their acting past, we locked away Carrot Top and Pauly Shore a long time ago. 

Third, who in their right minds would even pay to see Bo and Duke sing at a concert these days? Sure, this guy had hits in the 80’s country music scene but now? I nearly choked on a beverage with the fact that these two guys are still putting on concerts singing at events.  
 

Elisha Cuthbert’s “Captivity” Billboards are pulled: 

Apparently, it’s wrong to advertise a horror movie these days. Advertisments and Billboards over the upcoming Lionsgate film were pulled quickly in LA and New York after people complained about it’s “themes”, i.e. their sadistic nature. 

In the first billboard panel, titled "Abduction," the very hot blond looks terrified, with her mouth covered by what appears to be a black gloved hand. The second billboard, "Confinement," shows the character incarcerated behind a chain-link fence, a gnarled and bloody thumb poking through… The third billboard, "Torture," has the female Cuthbert on her back, her face hidden within a white cast and red tubes going up her nose. The fourth panel, "Termination," portrays what looks like a limp body hanging over a table, implying she'd been murdered.

Lionsgate said they neither seen the billboards nor approved them for the studio so they’re being pulled after the controversy. Yeah. Right.  

You can see the billboards here! 

Come on! Give me a effing break. The billboards are not even that bad.  

Due to Elisha being hot, I’m objecting to this kind of crap. 

We have billboards much worse all over the place. If crap like Jason X can get billboards, why can’t this? 
 

Pamela Anderson is off the market: 

Pamela Anderson has said she’s “done” with men for now.  

This week, the silicon former Playmate said in her diary that she and her kids are better without any extra testosterone walking around their house at the moment… 

“I've tried to remarry—move on," Anderson wrote Sunday in a statement that made up with warm sentiment what it lacked in punctuation. "Like any other single mom I've tried to create a healthy example for my kids always...I have faith that we're heading in the right direction. I'm really not interested in bringing any men into our lives."  

The erstwhile Playboy model, who good-naturedly took a turn last year as the object of Borat's affections, returns to the big screen soon in Blonde and Blonder, costarring another hottie Denise Richards. She also has a new beach-themed TV project in the works called Malibu, from the creators of Baywatch 

"I can't say no to the guys from Baywatch—they are great to my kids," Anderson says. "My schedule is built around theirs." 

Oh joy. Does that mean women only now? Hah, I kid.  
 
 

Britney Spears is out of Rehab: 

Britney Spears

Apparently, Spears has been released from the Promises Malibu Alcohol and Drug Rehab Treatment Facility on Tuesday. She’s completed her third attempt “successfully” (we shall see) after making headline grabbing decisions along the way. Her post rehab days are said to be going well and she’s considering her options on what to do next, her mom is pressuring her to go back to Kentwood, LA to get away from the intensive pressures of the California scene. Spears herself is thinking it over while thinking about reconciling with her former boy toy….the very talented K-Fed. (Hah!). A lot of her former singing friends and producers have also come out publicly in saying they will help restart her career when the time is right.  

Like the paparazzi won’t follow her to Kentwood. She’s going to be hunted down by cameras as long as she gives them ammo.  

My personal take is good for her in completing the rehab stint but I’m not sure I agree with the whole 28 day rehab stays that most celebrities do these days. It’s not like all of a sudden, their cured with drugs or alcohol. 

If you haven’t had a chance to see Late Show host Craig Ferguson’s heart wrenching monologue from last month on his bout with alcoholism, I suggest you watch the 12 minute segment here!  

I think Craig is closer to the truth with recovery then the Hollywood ideal of recovery. 
 

Paul McCartney signs with Starbucks? 

The former Beatle singer who’s had more hits then Mark McGwire on crack has signed with Starbucks fledgling Hear Music Label on Wednesday. McCartney uplinked through video feed from his London location to a Starbucks annual shareholders meeting in Seattle where the meeting was taking place. 

“For me, the great thing is the commitment and the passion and the love of music, which as an artist is good to see," McCartney said of his decision to sign with the label.  "It's a new world now, and people are thinking of new ways to reach the people and for me that’s always been my aim." 

McCartney's next album, due in stores early this summer, will be the inaugural release for the Hear Music label. 

Earlier this month, reports claimed the warring couple had reached a settlement in their divorce, with Mills accepting McCartney's offer of $56 million in cash and property and joint custody of their three-year-old daughter, Beatrice.  

Well, at the very least, Paul’s going to get a lot of exposure when his new album releases in coffee houses everywhere.  
 

Bernie Mac calling it quits for Comedy after next movie: 

Bernie Mac, one of the Original Kings of Comedy is relinquishing his comedic throne after his next movie The Whole Truth, Nothing but the Truth, So Help Me Mac. The comedian told Letterman on his Late show that he will be focusing on other aspects of his career and life after the upcoming movie. 

“And I'm going to put it in theaters and it's going to be 30 years for me, and I'm going to call it," the 49-year-old Chicago native said.   

"I'm going to still do my producing, my films, but I want to enjoy my life a little bit. I missed a lot of things, you know," Mac said. "I was a street performer for two years. I went into clubs in 1977."   

“Oh, man, you miss out on so much, you know, and you live in all these hotels—I was on the road 47 weeks out of the year," Mac said, reminiscing about the days before he had four feature films in the pipeline, including Ocean's Thirteen and Michael Bay's live-action Transformers movie. 

In far sadder news, longtime Late Show personality Calvert DeForest, who was perhaps better known as the bespectacled Larry "Bud" Melman, died Monday from a long illness. He was 85. 

Godspeed, Bud! 
 

Rosie O’Donnell stops Mommy Lohan from appearing on The View: 

I swear, every week it’s something new for Rosie O’Donnell.  

Dina Lohan, mom/manager to Lindsay, was unceremoniously booted from her scheduled guest spot on The View this morning after cohost Rosie O'Donnell made clear on air this week that she was no fan of the elder Lohan's mothering skills. 

The mom of Lindsay was due to appear on the female driven chat show Thursday morning to speak about her daughter, as well as, no doubt, the current Harper's Bazaar article in which she lashes out at her "party mom" image and the media's assumption that Lindsay, who as it happens just completed a stint in rehab and who boasted in December that she had gone an entire seven days without a drink, is an alcoholic. 

Okay, I understand that Dina isn’t exactly “Mom of the Year” for what she allows but since when is Rosie O’Donnell speaking for moms everywhere? She’s not exactly an outstanding role model herself. She needs to up her medications perhaps. 
 
 

That’s going to do it for this week’s edition of Superficial Slobber! See you next week, Maniacs!

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

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bjjdenver 3/24/2007 10:47:47 AM
I'm trying to ignore anything that begins "Anna Nicole". I'm boycotting any Sandra Bullock movie, I just realized after watching Crash that she is a racist. Why is Robert DeNiro on the loose? I witnessed him killing a bunch of people. I'm glad Ohio stepped up and cancelled the concert, I remember 30 years ago when Dukes was being developed and Wopat and Schneider insisted that the General Lee have a confederate flag on the roof. They are obviously racist also. You know, I think Ohio might be predjudiced against racists, they should be banned. Seriously, how about getting real? This is one of the most ludacris things I have ever heard. Pam Anderson, it is over, it has been over. Can't wait for "The Lohans" on MTV, t-r-a-i-n w-r-e-c-k!! Rosie O'Donnell, America's moral compass! Someone please tell her to shut it. By the way, Barbara Walters, didn't you used to be a respected interviewer and journalist? Lastly, Britney Spears. How often do we get to see a complete lack of potential realized to its fullest?
browbeat 3/24/2007 3:49:16 PM
One aspect of the Dukes of Hazard film I DID like was their approach to the confederate flag. "We won't be making any friends here." The guys seemed completely naive to its meaning. I thought that approach was humorous. (I'm not American so I don't have the same disdain for the flag that some do. I am not racist and don't approve of slavery in the slightest, to me the flag is just a historical icon of an ideal that was more or less defeated in the civil war. On the flip side, I do like the "look" of the flag my association with it is more with the General Lee than with the offensive subject matter it represents). As to teh billboards, I've looked them over and I think the "titles" along with the imagery is what affected the pull. The images are more or less fine on their own, but once you add the titles, it adds an intensity that would offend. I like the imagery for Abduction and Confinement and I like the image of her trapped in the dirt "buried alive."
jppintar326 3/24/2007 4:38:03 PM
Lindsay Lohan's mom has been treating her daughter like her meal ticket. I mean, does she do anything else? She managed to get rid of her ex-husband. Now she gets to live off her daughter. Who is she kidding? I rarely side with Rosie on anything, but here I do. However, when you make Rosie right, something is wrong. Why doesn't Pamela Anderson just go away? I'm tired of her, her love life, and her association with that obnoxious organization PETA. This woman is not very beautiful to begin with and has no talent. Ditto for Britney Spears.
jnager 3/13/2012 11:05:23 PM

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